Telling the Truth

I've got nowhere to go with this, no forum I feel safe saying this: but I'm almost done with my Trade. I'm tired of the men, the discrimination, and my own fear showing up to the Union Hall to take a dispatch, and then going to a job and being rejected: over and over again, till I get to the point I reject myself because I have convinced myself I'm not worthy, capable, or have the self esteem I'll make it past three days. That happened on Monday, a foreman who would have hired me, and he wanted someone to do a particular aspect of the job(cadwelding) which many dont' like to do, and it can be outright dangerous dealing with potentially explosive and burning substances....I was in fear that I couldn't 'measure up' since I hadn't done that procedure more than 3-5 times in 20 years, and always under supervision or with another....I didn't believe in myself, shot myself in the foot, and suggested he maybe get someone very familiar with the procedure. In other words, I didn't believe in myself.....but this guy woulda given me a chance! That's how demoralized my self-esteem is: this situation was on me! Being a big Butch Dyke and feeling worthless around these men. When I'm around other Dykes and women, they APPRECIATE me for my skills and abilities and knowledge, but when I'm around these men in my trade, I feel less than worthless..and any other women, including Dykes I know, many are not in solidarity and certainly not around the menz...because to them it would be 'guilt by association', so most I cannot count on. A few, yes, but most, no.

So, the second day I went out on Tuesday, and I came to a job where they were going to put in a huge solar array. I actually was quite excited, because I've gone to 3 solar classes, including one I paid for myself, about $500, a women only solar class put on by Solar Energy International. I suggest you look them up if you're interested in the field, because these women who taught the class were incredibly knowledgeable and did a far better job of teaching and hands on than the union program. So here was my chance! But it's with a contractor that all they care about is the bottomline, and workers are nothing but cogs in a wheel. Instead of filling out the paperwork and getting ready to do the work, he put me through a long, extensive and what I felt was an outright invasive interview process I entirely did NOT expect and was not ready for....this is a hard contractor to work for, and they have been problematic in the past....but I was trying to keep an entirely open mind: till he gets to productivity. Now mind you, I've NEVER done this particular work in the field, only in class, and he mentions he wants 140 solar panels put in in one day..and if I'm not up for it, I'll be laid off in 3 days! And I'm desparate for work, haven't worked since last summer, and right in the front of the books, where I could have my pick of the crop! I got in such a state of fear...and said "If I can't meet your expectation can you turn it into at least a short call, so I can get back on the book?" The answer was an unequivacal "NO, I don't do that!" He might have said 1000....sure I coulda lied, I coulda taken my chances, but instead I broke down....I named it: 'Everything is cutthroat, I have no clue if I could meet that, ect." I cried, I mentioned being desperate for work, ect. ect. and people could say and do say "Never reveal your weaknesses" but some times, we do. We break down, I am human and FEMALE after all. I am in touch with my feelings, I am clean and sober, I don't bury them behind drugs and alcohol. I am open to my spirituality, which I could use more of at this time, if I can open myself enough, and get still enough....

I left extremely depressed, feeling that TWO opportunities were now snatched from my hands...but especially around the solar, because THAT IS THE FIELD I WANT TO GET INTO! And I called a friend and she said he coulda said ANY number...whether it was realistic or not....to get a rise...to test me, or to bullshit me and put me in a place of fear, or perhaps I shoulda just bullshitted and said 'yes'....but that the ethics both of us deal with, is CONSTANTLY being lied to by these foreman, these contractors, told one thing, and then another that are completely untrue to cover their tracks, and in fact the guy started hemming and hawing about the numbers....

Why I'm mentioning all this is cuz I'm in a state of paralysis and fear.

I've felt this many times in relation to this Trade, to dealing with these men, to this system....but it has gotten much, much worse since the economic downturn. These guys LITERALLY want blood. I'm getting older, I'm 51, I'm not 25 or even 35...I'm not young anymore. I don't have the same energy level or conditioning, and being out of work so long, even less so...they've ended Affirmative Action in California, so they're not beholden to hire a certain number of women per job like they used to be in the '90's before the 'California Civil Rights Initiative" or rather Civil Wrongs Initiative, Prop 209 passed in the State of California, eliminating Affirmative Action for women and minorities....and the numbers of Tradeswomen and Women and Minority owned contractors has gone down ever since..the big boys have gotten even more of the pie than they already had!

I'm laying it out for you here, for myself, my truth...is I'm almost done with this, with Ed Hill, and all the rest...cuz they've literally starved us out, and kept the good ole boys working...they've cherrypicked and denied us, and I'm almost D O N E...but not before a last Robinhood moment where I gain all the skills I can before going............

So, I am finally at a Hecate like Crossroads in my Career. I WANT to use the skills I have,but I KNOW I must take them in another direction, a direction my heart wants to go in, that takes into account my spirituality, my love for Mother Earth, and being in the Solution, and no longer in the problem..meaning, if SOMEHOW, I CAN get permanently into the alternative energy/energy management field, use my brains more than my body, be more than a cog in a wheel and MOST OF ALL BE APPRECIATED FOR MY EFFORTS, rather than being treated like a whipped dog most of the time, and always fearful I could get laid off at any time, or not able to get another job, and do what I believe in, in alignment with my values, then perhaps I can finally be successful in the work world after all....and thrive, not just survive.

So many Dykes, so many Butches, so many women are so used to just surviving, because of the multitude of ways we're discriminated against workwise, and as a result not believing in ourselves, or being given the opportunities others with more privilege get and TAKE FOR GRANTED, like most of these hetero white dudes in the trade, or in life, we just get so beat down because of it. AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING BEAT DOWN AND STARVED OUT! MOST OF ALL I WANT TO BE HONORED AND APPRECIATED FOR MY EFFORTS AND WELL COMPENSED AS WELL..I DON'T WANT A STARVATION SALARY LIKE MOST WOMYN END UP SETTLING FOR!

So, you've heard it first...not that I haven't been saying it to friends and my partner...but never in print have I actually put it out there, in it's entirety and this is just a small portion of the story...but I'm almost DONE. I've been saying this 20 years, but this is the end of the road...I cannot go on like this anymore...and She has shown me I must make other choices, that feed my self esteem, my self worth, and my pocketbook, in alignment with my values.
-In Sisterhood,
-MasterAmazon

Response to 'Empowered Transman' on GenderTrender

,
I grew up with all that pressure: forced to wear dresses to family dinners, and there always were crying and shouting matches when I refused to do so, and threats I couldn’t come along if I didn’t comply. Holidays and birthdays were a strain too, because I rejected dolls at age 7(dresses at age 10, and marriage to a man at age 12). How I knew all this stuff, well, I grew up in NYC during the budding of the Feminist movement in the late ’60′s/early ’70′s, and was a tough tomboy on the streets who wouldn’t take second class status merely cuz I was a girl. I too wanted to be ‘one of the boys’, all the things this individual mentions. I HATED being a girl, not because I wanted a dick, but because I didn’t want to dress in humilating feminine clothing, be made to play with dolls or femmey girls, or do housework, I wanted to do all the fun boy things like my younger brother was able to do, and play with the more interesting toys, sports, adventure and exploration, and most of all, DID NOT wanted to be treated second class and left out! I was also very protective of my younger brother and fought his fights for him.

This individual is far more Femme than I EVER was…I rejected feminininity, makeup, dresses or any of that BEFORE I came out as much as I could get away with, and even more so AFTER I came out, and thank Goddess I came into a strong Lesbian/Feminist movement where there were very visible Butch Dykes I could emulate, and questioning of every female role and assertion and we were carving out OUR OWN culture and way of being, not that dicktated to us by the heterosexual culture…but ACTIVELY RESISTING IT. And as a martial artist teaching self defense to women, I took up my space in a way many women do not…martial arts helped me inhabit my body and my movements and where I would go and what I would do, in many ways women as a whole are fearful to do because of feminine training and threats of violence, and threats of being ‘unfeminine’. Well, I was NEVER feminine in the first place, and so MANY of these trans’men’ had active feminine experiences where at some point they embraced femininity as this FTM did.

Even looking at this individual, I see the woman inside her. Shave off the beard and you have a young Butch.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH JUST BEING BUTCH/AMAZON????????????? And questioning all these imposed upon female roles. When I see pictures of her as a girl, I just get very sad and mourn, cuz she looked like a cute tomboy girl, attempting to resist femininity, but still all girl, that is, all FEMALE, nothing wrong with her at all, except the shame the family instills in her for NOT CONFORMING.

I am convinced now, with watching yet ANOTHER FTM confession(youtube is loaded with them overwhelmingly, and Chaz’s documentary is no different in tone than any of the other FTM confession) that it’s all about being shamed for not being feminine, and not ‘fitting into’ feminininity and ‘proper’ female roles..so it’s all about roles, and NOTHING TO DO with the sex she is born into…that is…if INSTEAD she came out into a community where her kind of Female was honored, like I was as a hardcore Tomboy who finally had a place as a Butch, seeing other Butches FIERCELY PROUD OF THEIR FEMALENESS AND AMAZON STRENGTH, HERSTORY AND POWER, and their capableness, then perhaps she would not have decided to take those horrible male hormones and to transition.

Over and over it comes down to SOCIAL CONDITIONING and rejecting feminine roles..and seeing the only opportunity is to become a ‘dude’ to deal with sexism, instead of a place where one can just be a powerful Female EXACTLY as you are without being forced into pink, stereotypical female(or for that matter male) behaviors, dresses or expectations.

Because she admits that once she’s percieved as a ‘dude’ she can’t even shake hands the same way, and is looked at completely differently, something she didn’t expect. Men are always testing other men to see their weaknesses, always testing for weakness….always going on about dick size or equivalents thereof, oneupmanship, ect. and now she won’t be able to show vulnerabilities, softness or emotions freely, because then she’ll be suspect she’s ‘not really a man’, instead of a greater human being, just BEING. So transition is NOT an answer to ANYONE’S problems…it does NOT stop the social inequities, it’s just another way to conform……
-In Sisterhood,

Link

http://www.africanactivist.org/2010/02/democratic-institutions-in-uganda-not.html?showComment=1321777444968#c6935381160286085886

Posting this link, if it works, to stand up for those in our community across the world, for their brave stances and literally putting their lives on the line in Uganda...a Lesbian speaks the truth about the male theocracy crushing any dissent or lives for Lesbians and Gays in Uganda...sounds oh so familiar in the U.S of A from the rightwing!
-M.A.

http://www.africanactivist.org/

You may have to put in the link by hand...doesn't seem to click on.

Preserving our WBW Dianic Space, and Controversies around it from the Pagan and Gender Conference last week

I am going to give you the link to this current controversy and assault upon our Dianic oriented Paths, the right to wbw space in the greater Pagan community, of which Dianic Wicca in particular has been demonized around, that and worshipping Goddess only, no male dieties. Other than the ongoing controversies around maintaining our born female space in Michigan, the latest pop-up of this controversy occurred when Rabbit and the Amazon aspect of Caya Coven had a Dianic Amazon wbw ritual at Pantheacon last year, without listing the wbw requirements for the workshop. Several trans showed up, some were turned away, or made aware of the statement that it was for born female only, and a ton of controversy, much like what happens at Michfest and on the Michfest list, occurred, villifying the Dianic Path, and the right to claim wbw space and focus on women's blood mysteries, bodies and spirits from the moment of birth onwards. For years, however, Ruth Barrett, Z Budapest and other Dianic leaders have been holding Dianic wbw rituals at Pantheacon without too much incident. Ruth and Wendy Griffin came forward to state the importance of holding down this space at a workshop a couple days at Pantheacon after the controversy.

I myself had to argue in my own women's spirituality community for keeping my Amazon workshops born female only. It was very trying for me, as the group decided to open up our festival to mtf's,whether fully transitioned(penis removed) or not. I stated this would really change the Festival, and it's energy and focus. We haven't had the influx of trans yet, but if and when that occurs, it will irrevocably change from the wonderful sacred energies of born female connection and space.

So here is the link about the Conference, the controversy, the attempt to satisfy all communities, and the ritual which I hope will bring some mutual respect, including respect of boundaries and mental, emotional and spiritual healing around these matters. However, I am not holding my breath around this one. It is a wait and see to see what will unfold.

http://way-of-the-rabbit.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html

-In DykeAmazon Sisterhood,
-M.A.
http://way-of-the-rabbit.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html
If that link doesn't work,just try her main link:
http://way-of-the-rabbit.blogspot.com
then go to September 2011 and look for the outline ritual of radical forgiveness, and announcement about the Conference.

From the Michfest List: WBW Building Space for WBW

Re: WBW building safe space for WBW

Sister A., thank you for this: "And in defense of lesbian separatism, we have no other venue available to us any more. We can't even keep bio men out of our dyke marches, and I mean men, not MTF's. Why? Because some lesbians dont see a need to exclude men from a dyke march and we dont have lesbian solidarity anymore. Some lesbians dont choose womyn first."

That is so true A. The SF Dyke March is always crashed by every version of queer and men, including bisexual women including their boyfriends, to gay guys from the Castro feeling they HAVE A RIGHT to be in the March(after all Dolores Park is their cruising zone, and right down from the Castro). I wonder what would happen if we enforced those boundaries? And FTM's feel they too have 'a right' to be in the March. So it really dilutes the energy, and especially when the march organizers make statements that "past, present and future women" can march.....and takes away from the focus on us Dykes and Dyke rights! But then many Lesbians/Dykes don't put Dykes and women first and foremost! I ALWAYS have! Some surround them by a sea of gay men and become almost unapproachable, others by other versions of queer, and now there are so many microidentities as to be downright confusing..but then when you look at the pics, one thinks: "That's a bunch of dykes, under another name!" So many Butches/boi dykes/genderqueer don't even want the term 'female' or 'woman' applied to them, like it is some great shame(and I'm NOT talking FTM's here), that events and spaces are now being referred to as 'Queer', not even 'Queer Women' anymore, like the word 'woman' only refers to high femme, and that they are outside of even Female, which is barely tolerated, and yet insistent on saying 'female bodied'. It has all become so strange, divisive. And almost NONE have a concept of just how empowering it is to be in a week or close to a week in women only Dyke centered space, and see the amazing diversity of womonhood/femaleness Michfest represents!

Thank you also Grace for your statement above! The same goes with my Amazon and Dianic rituals. I WANT to ritual with those who are born, live and love as Female, and the connection we have beyond words because of it, whether it be the menstrual blood mysteries or the gynenergy we raise, goes beyond words, or the glue between Dykes and our Amazon herstories going back to ancient times carving out our space for OUR TRUTH, our born Female bodies, minds and spirits...and for those of us who are Butch and have been on that 'gender line' for ages, we are STILL PROUD TO BE FEMALE, and ARE FULLY FEMALE. We NEED our wbw space for our healing, for our Lesbian connections, for our blood connections, and for the mutual sacred energies we can raise together, hearing each other's voices.

To my dying day, I will protect our spaces and places, because ONLY in WBW space amongst likeminded womyn and Dykes, can I really and truly FEEL MY POWER, not just personally, but energetically and psychically in a way I can't in any other space because of the heaviness of the patriarchal imperative and heavy male energies. Whether they be from the formerly, present or future male. I don't care if this is 'politically correct' or not, but denying born females access to OUR OWN spaces is the height of misogyny, in a very real way. It does not need to be just 'one week out of the year', that would NOT be enough for me, but when and where we need it, without others' needs crowding out our voices or destroying what overall women's spaces(much less Lesbian spaces, which there are almost none)we have left!
-MasterAmazon

_________________
I am committed to the Michigan community, as well as committed to maintaining this space with its original intention. - LV 8/2011

Why I feel so strongly about Womon Born Womyn Spaces, Places, Rituals and Events

Here is a great article and blog about WHY womyn only space is so damned important and WHY we must maintain it no matter what! Only by hearing OUR OWN voices and experiences, wisdom, sacred utterings and ritual, mental, emotional, sexual, psychic and spiritual connections that happen in such spaces goes beyond words and radicalizes ALL womyn to work for our best interests and NOT to censor ourselves even before the most so called 'humble' 'feminist' man or effeminate gay dude.

We must guard our Spaces, Places and Sacred events for Ourselves as the Amazons we are, and hearkening back to Ancient Amazon times.....set our Gorgon sentinels that will turn men to stone should they attempt to enter....that clear eyed Medusan gaze that stops them in their tracks. And heed that wisdom not compromising our Sisters for the sake of ANY male's ego who feels 'left out' for not being 'included' when they have the rest of the world to own. Please, please read this article below:
http://lostwomynsspace.blogspot.com/2011/09/why-womens-spaces-are-critical-to.html

Love Letter to Michfest and Lisa Vogel for Maintaining our WBW space

Re: How to get Kicked out of Camp Harmony

THANK YOU LV for having the integrity to continue your vision! I am in full support, and it ripples ever outwards to ALL women only and Lesbian centered groups and spaces which have been so totally decimated by this debate! Even the wbw Dianic communities have undergone this debate and been horribly villified this past year, even with threats against them, and yet some have bowed to the pressure:
http://way-of-the-rabbit.blogspot.com/2 ... h-pnc.html

Please read the above link. I will also post it in a separate thread.
Even though I have not been able to go to Michfest but twice, I go to a smaller women's spirituality event the same week and have been fighting these same issues, and trying to at least keep MY workshops for wbw only...before this festival also gets overrun(fortunately it hasn't but all the dissension is going on already).

There is NOTHING like Lesbian centered born Female space. ONLY in that space, in the sacred Woods can I be FULLY FREE, and the Full Butch DykeAmazon Warrior/Witch, Amazon High Priestess and Free Wild Female Being and Wildwomon that I am. I put on an Amazon oriented ritual along with many powerful compadres this year, and what a ritual it was! The power we raised was amazing! And because we HONOR that female to female energy connected with Goddess and our Primal Female beings and Mysteries....this is something beyond explanation, and something that just must be experienced. It cannot be explained. THIS is why Michfest is so essential, and it changes minds, hearts and souls. ONLY on Women's Land with Goddess connected and free womyn, of ALL STRIPES, leather, nonleather, Lesbian, bi, straight, healer, Maiden, Amazon, Mother, Crone, Wildwomon, Craftswomon, Ritualist, Firekeeper, herbalist, martial artist, Seer, Visionary, Sagewomon and so much more....can we EVEN begin to access our Sacred Female Powers that we lost so long ago....my heart opens up in a way it only can in Female only born Female space....where I can lay down my weapons and armour and energy put into protection and survival, and instead open up my heart in magic, in community, in power, in ecstasy, in the deepest intuition sparking off of likeminded empowered and magical Female Souls connected with Her mysteries and the wisdom of the Land, the Trees, the Water, the Moon...it all came together for me this past summer, and it is WHAT I LIVE FOR! I just wish I could have it 24/7 and throughout the year, that kind of psychic and spiritual openness and connection with other womyn and DykeAmazon Sisters...imagine how powerful we could grow in our intuitions and psychic powers! Keep on Keeping on Lisa Vogel and my likeminded DykeAmazon Sisters! That includes you too Preciocilla!
-In Deepest Sisterhood and Gratitude for Michfest and all She represents,
-MasterAmazon who will always defend you with my heart, soul and Labryis!

Building Butch Community

I'm here to find out who ACTUALLY wants to work on real community building.
It does NOT have to be in a big way like a conference, convention or a huge group. In fact, I'd love to find ways we connect REALTIME, not just over the internet, with each other, even in our own towns and spaces, like smaller events, barbecues, going out to ball games, spending time in the park or each other's places, affordable things, hanging at the local coffeeshop(no I'm NOT interested in the bar scene at all). Healthy environments where we could both socialize and talk, connect and share common interests as Female Proud Butches.

I want ALL Female Proud Butches to feel they can connect without judgement, whether you are in a Butch on Butch relationship like me, or Butch/Femme, or enjoy both flavors, single, polyamorous or whatever, as long as you LOVE/Lust for womyn, and love YOURSELF as a Female.

I'd like the balance between talking about our issues and playing with each other, having fun times socializing, connecting, REALLY building community beyond just a group. Keeping each other working and employing each other, something so hard for Butches, and being visible at Dyke and women's events(and me personally, Dianic Women's spirituality events, I REALLY want to connect with more Butches who are interested in Goddess ritual and Amazon mysteries, which I do teach and share).

What are OUR unique contributions, voices, connection with our Amazon Natures, that we have to teach other womyn, younger and older, and mentor them as well, so they can be PROUD in their female bodies, minds and spirits and not shamed by them.

Living in the solution, instead of the problem. What is your part, and would you like to connect? I see a bridge we could have all over the country, much like my favorite mag, Lesbian Connection and the Contact Dykes list...we could have Contact Butch Dykes, and share our issues, our joys and our sadness and pain with each other!

Let's Build Female Proud Butch Community together! For ALL bio Female Proud Butches!

Responding to Jeanne Cordova on her blog around her identifying as 'TransButch', and all the ways we are told that Butches are some version of trans

MasterAmazon said...
Sexism is sexism, and now that Chaz identifies as 'male'(not all of us don't have to buy that surgeries and hormones do anything more than induce secondary sexual characteristics, but the hormones DO change personality), he has completely identified with the WORST of male sexist behavior, and YES sexism comes from men and is foisted on ALL women. Don't smoke screen the issue 'owning'. It all is a matter of degree, even the most so called 'feminist oriented' man or soft gay man, has sexism within him to one extent or another, and certainly more privilege. It is Chaz's attempt to use his new found privilege as well as his well off background against his girlfriend that is exceedingly sexist.

And you haven't addressed, like so many others, unto the next generation of the trans cult insanity foisted upon children who don't yet know who they are and herded into categories with hormones, surgeries and psychiatrists because they dont' fit into heterosexist gender roles appropiate for males or females. NOT the liberation from those roles as Feminism has promised for ALL Females originally, and even for effeminate boys/men.

Jeanne, I challenge you personally as a Butch Dyke Feminist, and still have great respect for you, that I don't buy Judith Halberstam's queer theories, and almost ALL Butches I know, myself included have been women in men's or boys' clothing, and absolutely censured for it, and put outside womonhood as a result, or shamed horribly if we don't consent to feminization, especially forced upon us to either get a job or in childhood. I can't tell you how many arguements I had with my family when they tried to put me in dresses and skirts, this is VERY MUCH part of the Butch Dyke, and Female Proud Butch Dyke experience as well as others, to resist just that type of feminization. But, we're still All womon, and all Female despite others trying to take away our womonhood and/or Femaleness and state 'you just want to be a man'. I hope you reconsider this stance, because you would have so many Female Proud/Female Identified Butches behind you. And as you know, Butchness goes far beyond clothes...it's all about who we are inside and the way we walk in the world, and our OWN unique brand of Femaleness, which is often denied by others.
-In Female PRoud Butch Dyke Sisterhood,
-FeistyAmazon

September 14, 2011 1:56 AM

MasterAmazon said...
I just get so tired of those who constantly state that if you're butch, you're automatically 'trans' of some variety. I DON'T BUY IT, and neither do MANY Female Proud/Female Identified Butches, rather we are another aspect of Femaleness/womonhood. And there is less and less space for us to just be ourselves without that pressure to identify as more male, transbutch, transmasculine, genderqueer, male, FTM ect. in other words MALE, rather than FEMALE, and outside of womonhood rather than within it. AND that, is in many of our opinions decidely anti-feminist. There are those too who are detransitioning as well, and wanting to once again claim their dyke and/or female identities again, and terribly shamed by the trans movement for doing so.

Butch Nation and Jeanne Cordova?

This is a controversial post. It shows how easily the trans terminology falls into use. I now am even more conflicted on whether to give Butch Nation support or not, being Jeanne Cordova was one of the founders and now is identifying as 'transbutch'. In her own words and blog: "Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Chaz, Larry, and Me

"This has been a bad week for trans-butches like me and my friends."

This at the same time she fought for Female Identified Butches, to use the term 'Butch Woman' rather than "Masculine of Center" exclusively for Butch Voices, and the words "Lesbian and Feminist" which Butch Voices censored her for, wanting to outreach to the Lesbian Feminist, womon identified, Female Proud Butch Lesbian communities....NOW she's identifying as 'transbutch'. So easily we get swayed by what's popular and 'in', and because as she states later in the article that she considers herself 'transbutch' because she likes to crossdress in men's clothes. Here's my response to her post:
September 7, 2011 7:25 AM

MasterAmazon said...
I thought that you were a Female Identified Butch, not trans....my biggest problem with Chaz(who in my opinion before transitioning was never Butch to begin with), is advocating for children to have their hormones blocked at a young age, and then have hormones to transition to the other sex at age 16, infecting a whole new generation with the whole trans agenda, RATHER than fully accepting themselves as the young boys/girls they are: hardcore tomboys like myself, like the one in the pool with Chaz, would be told instead 'that you really are male and can be a dude too', rather than to struggle as I did, with the budding of the Feminist movement in 1969, that 'you can be anything you want to be as a woman/female', which means ALSO wearing the clothes that make you or myself most comfortable. Any clothes on a woman are by rights, 'women's clothes', and I ONLY shop in the men's section/stores anymore these days, so completely crossdressing, and yet, as a Butch Dyke, I'm still ALL FEMALE and REFUSE to be pushed to the fringes of womonhood, as has been done to us for eons!

Now I see that you're putting out an entirely different message, sadly. No, NOBODY should be killed around any of this, but when I look at Chaz I see basically a Butch without breasts, the way Chaz dresses...but it's in the way Chaz acts that is so male and reprehensible to me, yes I saw that documentary, and I couldn't stand how Chaz treats his girlfriend just like any prick in the kitchen, and screams and yells at her on and on...how embarassing to have millions watch that whole dramarama. There is nothing 'brave' about Chaz, only a desire to conform and gain male privilege, because Chaz could not be Butch as a Dyke and as a Female, but now Chaz can be...and be just as pricky and assholish as any bio male, and just as sexist!
-M.A.

I know this keeps the fuel going, but on the other hand, it seems like us Female Proud Butches have to be trans/masculine/something other than fully PROUD TO BE FEMALE. MANY Butches crossdress, we can't stand being feminised or to wear feminine or girly or womonly clothes, with the exception of the most androgynous ones, when I was only permitted in womens' clothing stores as a teenager. Still I bought men's vintage clothing at vintage clothing stores too, tux pants, shirts, vests, ect. Nowadays, only men's clothes have my size, and those are the clothes that I feel most comfortable in and look the best on me. And YET I'm still Fully Female, Dyke, Butch,Amazonian and PROUD. I'm not 'trans' anything. Nor do I want to be. I feel even less inclined to align with EITHER Butch Nation or Butch Voices. If I show up to one of their conferences it will ONLY BE if I feel I am fully represented.
-In Butch DykeAmazon Sisterhood,
-MasterAmazon
Link to her blog: http://thislesbianworld.blogspot.com/

One of the founders of Butch Nation: Stacy Reed's beautiful paragraph around 'woman' and my response

“I believe that the word woman has more space and depth in it than anyone can even understand. I know that i can be any kind of woman i want to be, the rub is that the world doesn’t yet know it. It will take all our voices raised to make a change.”

This is SUCH a powerful statement Stacy, and EXACTLY what I experience on women’s Land in women’s ritual just last week. It goes beyond words to something very, very primal…and we as womyn, ARE powerful beyond words….but that innate power has been erased with all the patriarchal distractions and distortions we’ve endured for 2000 plus years….but in each other’s company we CAN and DO find that magic we each possess AS womyn, including OUR particular magic, AS Butch Womyn/Butch Dykes. Other womyn envy our strength, our particular power, our ability to nurture them, our Amazon Warrior spirits and our ability to stand up to men and INSIST on being their equals, not subservient to them. Thank you for these very powerful words that I know within my bones, whenever I’m on womyn’s land and in a community of womyn for 4 days or more….my heart opens in a way I cannot explain beyond that, but those who know, and have accessed these powers between us, KNOW something we lost long ago and many of us are working on regaining it.
-FeistyAmazon

My experiences at Butch Voices/Butch Nation workshops Saturday and Sunday as posted on GenderTrender

August 23, 2011 at 11:01 am
I attended Butch Voices and attended one Butch Nation workshop put on by Sasha Goldberg's Bulldaggers group for Female pronoun using Female identified Butches, a keynote speaker Sharon somebody afterwards(Butch Voices), and the final workshop/Town Hall meeting on Sunday put on by Butch Voices to discuss the term "Masculine of Center", why Female identified Butches were alienated from Butch Voices, and why 4 board members left, and our experiences.

What disgusted me the most perhaps, other than Joe’s behavior and arrogance, was at Sasha Goldberg’s Bulldaggers workshop an MTF ‘Butch’ who read COMPLETELY FEMME(as I don’t know ANY Butches who wear a spagetti strap t shirt with missile tits bra), was again trying to divert born Female attention in the one VERY RARE Female Identified Butch space we had to talk about OUR issues, how ‘she’ and ‘her’ MTF Butch ‘sisters’ were so oppressed. I’ve known other “Butch” MTF’s and they’re just as sexist as any hetero dude and ‘don’t get’ either Dyke or Butch Dyke culture at all! I mean if you’re so ‘butch’, well then why didn’t you just stay a dude? And for that individual to get a workshop at Butch Voices WHEN NO Female Proud bio female Butches did is a REAL slap in the face to us Female Identified Butches.

I too question Sasha Goldberg in particular, and witnessed when she proudly lifted her shirt up at a womon to womon organization I used to belong to to announce she had chest surgery, the same year a member of that organization had a forced double mastectomy and we did a fundraiser for her because SHE HAD BREAST CANCER, AND IS STILL AILING TODAY AS A RESULT!
Butch Voices, probably because of her greater youth and former FTM status allowed her to do the Bulldaggers workshop and then create it as a project for Butch Voices. Sasha was also part of the programming committee as well. My workshop for 2009 would have been about Butch DykeAmazons and the connection between our Butch DykeAmazon sexuality and spirituality and would have included some ritual and some movement/martial arts/self defense….(exclusively for wbw). That was the one in 2009 that was rejected, along with workshops from other Butches of ALL colors coming from many different sectors of the Female Identified/Female Proud Butch Dyke community. After all the controversies swirling around Butch Voices this year, and Joe's and Krys' statements, I did not even want to bother submitting another workshop proposal and risk getting rejected AGAIN!


In any case, I did LOVE being in a roomful of almost all Butches at Sasha’s Butch Nation workshop, who were ALL PROUD to be Female, and each spoke to her experience. Only problem I had was they were all koumbayaing how we should all ‘get along’ with our FTM Brothers, and they were just another extension of Butch and ‘not infight’. Well, I hate infighting, but I hate even more having to constantly defend my space, and argued with that I have no right to it.

There is NO WAY I can be an ally to ANYBODY if I can’t have my space, or my identity respected, and not coopted or intruded upon. If the trans want respect, then they must GIVE IT, but they never do. They encroach upon our territories, our communities, and our very womyn, convincing them that they too must be ‘genderqueer’ or trans, or ‘masculine of center’ or some such thing….that Dyke and Butch and Female are just not good enough anymore, and that Lesbians oppress them, and even though they are have female to female sex, they are not ‘Lesbian’, even if they committ Lesbian acts! What nonsense!

Anyhow back to the conference. I did have good conversations with many womyn, including Jeanne Cordova, but when I found out her ‘Feminism and Masculinity’ workshop was for the younger Butches, and I asked her more about it, it was how she felt ‘more masculine’ by dressing up and wearing her cufflinks, and her suits and ties…Well I dress up and wear clothes including my Leather that at times I appear more Butch, more Warrior, more powerful, and other times, just t shirts and bluejeans. But my Butchness is innate…it is internal, NO MATTER WHAT I WEAR! Nor do I want to be lectured about how I “oppress Femmes”. Femmes have way more privileges out in the world than most Butches do, and the brunt of heterosexism falls heaviest on Butches….Femmes can exist, and deal with regular sexism, but Butch Females are targeted for elimination in so many ways, whether we get harassed on the street by dudes for even existing and appearing the way we do, and physically threatened(which happened to me one night in the BART station after the Dyke March), or we’re denied jobs, promotions, burdened with the least status work, or invisibilized in the press, t.v., films ect. or numerous other ways, or made to be the boogey women that men use to threaten ANY uppity female, that ‘you must be a man hating dyke, bulldagger, Butch, ugly Lesbian, ect’ OR as so many have internalized, ‘You just want to be a man, or need to be fucked by one to straighten you out’, that is , threatened or targeted for rape(and I know Butches including myself who have been).

THESE are the issues that neither Butch Nation nor Butch Voices are talking about, and all these individuals have status from being attached to Butch Voices, so it’s not like a clean new group has emerged, but those who were heavily intertwined with Butch Voices who decided to split and have their own agendas.

Perhaps, they can take the criticisms and create a more transparent organization which doesn’t require confidentiality agreements to sign, like Butch Voices insisted upon, which is why many walked, and that it is thoroughly inclusive of Female Proud Butch DYKES who have even a smattering of Feminist politics, and in my book that means basic ‘bread and butter’ Feminist politics for the total empowerment of ALL womyn throughout the world, and that you’re a Dyke, a Woman, and a nonhetero conforming woman, that is Butch, who is targeted for the worst heterosexist harassment possible, and THAT is a Feminist issue in and of itself, discriminated against in the workplace, a Feminist issue, threatened with violence, rape and distrust outside it..THAT is a Feminist issue. Not just ‘oh you’re oppressing Femmes’. Which leads me to the last thing that disturbs me: those of us who are Butch on Butch are near to invisible, which is partly WHY we’d go to a thing like Butch Voices or Butch Nation…to be around our tribe, to flirt with members of our tribe, to be with the womyn that turn us on the most, that are closest to our hearts, that share our deepest sensibilities, that reflect who we are in the world, and that we can meet and ally with, whether as friends, lovers, pals, spiritual DykeAmazon Sisters, business partners, co creators of a movement together, ect.

There was a friend of mine who wanted to come to Butch Voices and do a simple workshop on Butches in the Trades, but I had to tell her about all the controversies brewing, and she did not want to come after hearing all that, and she too is a Female Proud Butch!

Simply, from all I’ve heard, spoken about and witnessed, it is two communities going in two different directions, though the trans/genderqueer part can put in the smokescreens of race and age as stumbling blocks, making the Female Identified Butch a white Dyke thing, as one individual in the Townhall meeting said, but that is not it! There are Butch Dykes of color that feel just as strongly as those of us who are white skinned do(and I’m from a Jewish background myself).

a) one community wants ‘anything goes’, ‘call yourself anything you want to’, ‘we’re all masculine of center’ and doesn’t think it’s a big deal whether you take hormones, have surgeries, identify as male, want to become male, but are still Butch but supposedly NOT Lesbian, or if you are it’s ok to do gay men too and identify as one of them, but you can still be Butch, and they appear, act and want the privilege of men and passing as male, and thus not or no longer ‘women’.

or
b)Wish to remain in a Female body as a Butch WOMAN, are Dyke oriented, Female proud and are working towards a movement where FEMALES CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT IN THIS WORLD AND RETAIN THEIR FEMALENESS, that we fight against violence for all Females, and where Females and Female empowerment is at the center of our lives and men come secondarily and their needs, because after all, we ARE Dykes, and where Feminism and Lesbianism are NOT dirty words, but part of our rich proud Butch LESBIAN herstory, and where we are working towards our further liberation physical, sexual, intellectual, spiritual and on every other level IN our Butch Female bodies, and where we are EXPANDING the definition of womonhood and do NOT wish to remain at the fringes of womonhood, or put outside of it!

I spoke to how “Masculine of Center” means to me that on my last job I was the ONLY womon, Female, Dyke, Butch, ect. and that EVERYONE ELSE on my job was “Masculine of Center”, meaning bio hetero macho male! And that there was one Feminist issue in that, where one guy kept referring to taking wires out of a box as ‘raping that box’, and 3 times I had to tell him to STOP SAYING THAT and THAT IT BOTHERED ME, and the third time I said “I’ve known too many women who have been sexually assaulted and molested and I don’t want to hear that from you anymore!” I shared this story, and in the Female Identified Butch workshop which Sasha put on, some Butches were horrified to hear this! And that he could think I’m a bitch or whatever, and I felt very vulnerable being the ONLY woman/Butch Woman/Dyke on the job, the ONLY Female, but I HAD to say something, EACH AND EVERY TIME!

All in all, it tensed me up, but I KNOW Butches are my people, so I took what I liked and left the rest, I also made sure I got interviewed on their video tape(will see if they use what I said), and had to stand up and say my piece for Female Identified Butches being visible and getting OUR needs met and issues heard.

Joe got to say the last word after all these Butches spoke at the last Townhall meeting on Sunday, and s/he basically shamed all of us who did not want to participate with Butch Voices, from those who walked away after trying to make them sign a confidentiality agreement, to all the harassment of Female Identified Butches and NOT regarding our issues, that ‘if you want a voice, you must participate’ and we shouted out ‘we tried to, but you didn’t hear us, and you rejected our workshops and US’, and basically as if s/he hadn’t heard all that we said in about 2 hours. So, at this point I don’t have much hope with Butch Voices unless something radically changes with their board and their process..and it’s a wait and see with Butch Nation. Also the moderator(talk about a class issue) tried to pull a bunch of therapy crap instead of allowing Butches to just freely speak and share their issues, and also allowing nonButches to speak as well, which I don’t think should have been allowed. The moderator and organizers got way more time to speak than just us ordinary Butch Folk. It was heated, it was intense, but there were parts where both the moderator and another did bring the tension down just a bit. But it could have been much more orderly and fair where there was an official queue for those who wanted to speak, instead of an informal haphazard one, and where EVERYONE was limited to two minutes, no more, no less….and THAT didn’t happen. The last speakers were forced to only speak 30 seconds and THAT was NOT fair!

So, I came home fairly tense, but in my heart, I hope us Butch Dykes CAN organize, learn to get along, hear each other’s experience, have PRIDE in our Butch Dyke FEMALE Selves, and teach that to younger Butches coming up, and stop some of this insanity where young Butch/tomboyish/nonfeminine women outside the box feel they must transition, identify as male or identify with males to survive…..and have some basic Feminism and LOTS of Lesbian/Dyke Pride.
-In Butch DykeAmazon Sisterhood,
-FeistyAmazon

FeistyAmazon Says:

August 23, 2011 at 8:51 pm
I came from intensely womon only space in the woods for 5 days, where I ritualled with womyn of all stripes, Butch, Femme, androgynous, all sexual orientations, and we pulled off a very powerful and empowering Amazon ritual for 60 womyn which I conceived of 6 months ago, and had a great crew of Wildwomyn and Amazons to pull it off, that EVERYONE felt very empowered and energized after the ritual stating even ‘it was the best one we’ve ever had at EWF’, a Festival that has lasted 23 years, and wondered, after something so Female loving and Female centered and empowering and in community, did I want to go into the warzone of Butch Voices/Butch Nation? It took me 3 days to float down from that ritual high, and the amount of gynergy we moved, and affirmed with the song and Primal Mother priestess towards the end “My Body is the Body of the Goddess” affirming ALL our Female bodies.

I watched things develope online and a Butch pal on Facebook who I chatted with and then called on the phone said to me it was very important that Female Identified Butches show up at these workshops and especially at the Townhall Meeting Butch Voices provided on Sunday at 2pm, needed to show up to MAKE SURE OUR VOICES WERE HEARD. I knew if we did not show up in droves, we would NEVER be heard and even further invisibilized and so I had to change my hat from Butch DykeAmazon Priestess, to Butch DykeAmazon Warrior, and wear all my protective Warrior gear to go to Butch Voices/Butch Nation, after that nice three day high(and utter exhaustion too) wore off…..it saddened me to have to go into the warzone and argue with these folks who hate their female bodies or want to eliminate them(visually), after being with womyn who loved the Sacred Female, within and without…. going from such a healing and empowering environment. But as an Amazon Warrior, it is NECESSARY we defend and expand our territory and take back what is rightfully ours: our identities, our proud herstory, our bodies, and the bodies of those young womyn and others who would be forever changed should they choose transition with surgeries and hormones, to hear another voice calling from deep within ourselves, and our Ancient Amazon Sisterhood which has been around for millenia!

Thank you, thank you, thank you again for this forum, and I looked up GallusMag in my ‘Encyclopedia of Amazons’ by Jessica Amanda Salmonson, and what a womon she was! I think you are about just as feared by the trans as Gallus Mag was feared by men in her day, and just as powerful an Amazon, so I am glad to have you as a Sister Amazon, GallusMag!
-In DykeAmazon Sisterhood,
-FeistyAmazon

Butch Nation/Butch Voices

The upcoming conference for Butches, Butch Voices is coming up this weekend in Oakland. There is a huge controversy right now where 4 activists that were part of the Butch Voices committee have left due to the fact they were noninclusive of their language around Butch WOMEN, instead using the term 'masculine of center', which could mean ANYTHING, and anybody was welcome, specifically hetero macho bio males! Female Proud Butch Dykes are rising and taking our community back, so I want you to have the latest info.

I will probably be going to AT LEAST ONE of these workshops, if not more, to fight for our territory and our space. All three of these workshops are free, two sponsored by Butch Nation, the other one sponsored and at the heart of the controversy by Butch Voices. Female Proud Butches have sent in requests for refunds due to this issue and not feeling we are included, nor are we reflected in most of the Butch Voices workshops.

Here is my post from the Michfest list so I don't have to repeat information. You will know some of the truth around some of the players, but it is important that if you live in the Bay Area to support at least one of the two Butch Nation workshops. I will give further info in my next post when I find out EXACTLY the room number for the two Butch Nation workshops, but if you show in the lobby before the appointed times, Butch Nation/Bulldagger supporters will let you know where the discussions will take place. Again, THEY ARE FREE, so you need not register for the Butch Voices conference to attend.

Re: Breaking News–Prominent Butch Women Break with Butch Voi

It is more complicated than even that.....even amongst the Butch Nation crew. We will see what emerges, but let's put it this way: several of us Female Proud and Female Identified Butches that were locals in Oakland submitted our Female Identified Butch workshops in 2009, most of us longtime Butches from varying sectors of the community, and ALL of us had our workshops rejected and Sasha Goldberg's was the only explicit Female centered Butch workshop in Oakland in 2009 which eventually became a group, Bulldaggers supported by Butch Voices. Sasha attempted to transition to FTM years ago and has had her breasts removed as a result, so in this way she can be an almost polarizing figure having it both ways, but no longer wanting to identify as FTM. She also was very tied in with Butch Voices and it's policies until this current debacle, while many of us longterm lifelong Female identified Butches have been left on the outside. She needs to answer and be clear about her change of heart and background. However, I just talked to someone who knows her well, also a Butch very close to the situation and both feel VERY STRONGLY about having language at any conference for Butches that specifically identifies "Butch Women" AS WOMEN/Females, and Female proud!

Also, there are two workshops that Butch Nation will be putting on by and for Butch FEMALES who are Female Proud, womon identified what have you, one on Saturday from noon to 1:30pm, the other on Sunday from noon to 1:30 pm at the Oakland Marriott this weekend under "Goldberg". They don't yet know the room number. As soon as those details are worked out I will let you all know!These workshops are FREE.

Butch Voices will have a free workshop/discussion at 2pm on Sunday about the term "Masculine of Center", as I told my pal, I just got done with a job where I worked ONLY with 'masculine of center' folks and was THE ONLY WOMON ON THE JOB! "Masculine of center" meaning bio male macho construction men! The term is meaningless to me any other way. What is wrong with just the word BUTCH????? This workshop was deemed necessary because not only did the 4 members leave Butch Voices committee, when other Butches found out about the debacle, many refused to come to Butch Voices because it was NOT representative of bio female identified Butch Dykes/Women, and in fact invisibilized us, they wanted their money back as well. So that is 3 free workshops and Female Centered/Proud/Identified Butch Dykes NEED to come to these workshops in SOLIDARITY so our voices are heard! I told this individual very close to the situation that Michfest too came together in solidarity to take our community back! We are SICK of the trans movement pushing it's way into our territory with total disrespect while trying to gut OUR communities, our womyn, our Butches, our Dykes, our Lesbian herstory, ect. ect. ect while exploiting OUR resources and attempting to coopt us! Dykes of all stripes are FINALLY waking up, because if we don't do something now, we won't have a community to look back upon! This is even more so for us Female Centered/Proud/Identified Butches who feel so under siege with all this, while more and more of our brethren under this trend are pressured to transition to male, hate their female bodies, or identify closely with the male because they think that's where the power lies! And there's all too many who want them to to validate their own bodily mutilations/changes.

I don't know how much better Butch Nation will be in being more democratic, transparent and open as a result. I DO like that they INSISTED on Butch Female/woman language, even though Butch Voices rejected it. I hate that we have to continue fighting amongst ourselves and that Female Butch Identity and Pride has been so coopted and invisibilized for all the genderqueer/FTM darlings(i.e Chaz Bono, who was Grand Marshal at SF Pride this year) ect. ect. ect.

But maybe just like Michfest being revitalized and defending it's wbw territory, Female Centered and Female Proud Butches who have fought the fight for decades have chosen NOT to be invisibilized by the trans or genderqueer movements that have consumed so many Butch lives, and put so much pressure on many Butches to transition to 'fit into' the new trends while denying their very femaleness which makes us so special!

I am deciding right at this moment, after almost a week on sacred womyn's land myself, whether I want to enter this tangled web at all! I just can't stand to be around those who hate their femaleness any longer! Or to fight amongst ourselves as Butches. I will no longer stand for myself, my identity or my community being coopted! I guess I'll have to get my Warrior gear on to fight the good fight, at least that part of it that I can stomach, and hope to find some likeminded allies!
-In Butch DykeAmazon Sisterhood,
-M.A.

Transition, Legal Marriage, Marriage Equality for Same Sex couples, my experiences

K, very well said. While it does make me mad that some trans folks can now marry their partner once they legally switched their sexual status, the way you put it K, gives me just a little hope. I'm still mad that ENDA did not pass because trans insisted their issues weren't included, and we should ALL be held back. Perhaps a split is necessary, as gay/lesbian issues ARE different than trans issues. The 'T and even the B' creeped in about 1994, 1995 with at least SF Gay Pride when they wanted to change it from Lesbian/Gay Pride to Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Trans Pride. I was at that discussion. I feel it still dilutes our issues down, and that these 4 communities often don't have alot in common, and very, very different agendas at times. There are some overlaps, and many differences and too often those are glossed over.

I HAVE FOUGHT for Marriage Equality over and over on the frontlines. My partner and myself are legally married in 2008, and still one of the 18,000 legally married California couples. We also married in 2004 when we stood in line around SF City Hall and Gavin Newsom allowed 4000 of us to marry. There were some trans folks also in that line, a whole lot of Lesbians and some gay men. Lesbians are very invested in the marriage equality issue because so many have children and as women our commitments are very important. I'd say there were about 4 Lesbian couples to every one gay male couple in line. Nonetheless almost ALL of those couples in line had very longterm relationships, at least about 10 years, and had tried every which way to join their relationships together.

We are practically the ONLY visible Butch on Butch Leather couple in the marriage equality movement at least in SF. Most of the pics taken were either two brides or two grooms in dresses or tuxes, and a few Butch/Femme couples. Not much Leather(except a few gay men that had matching leather commerbunds and vests), there seemed to be a strong investment in showing 'white picket fence' safe Lesbian/Gay couples with alot of privilege.

We stay visible just because of that, but EVERYBODY should have the legal right to marry no matter WHO they love!
-MasterAmazon

August 5, 2011 6:17 PM



MasterAmazon said...
Meaning that many of the interviews and photographs were given of the two brides in wedding gowns or the two grooms in tuxes. Far less were given of even Butch/Femme couples, and alternative press did photograph and interview us(because we ARE so colorful and visible, leathery and Butch!), but mostly not the mainstream press those initial days. The movies done on the marriage equality movement often were of privileged lesbians and gays, who weren't too extreme either way, hardcore Butch or swishy effeminate drag queen gay, and generally white and middle class, or if other races also fairly middle class.

However, we DID get interviewed for NBC when we showed up in court to witness the latest SF trial of this latest challenge to Prop 8, and we got onto the evening news for 3 minutes! They wanted one of the married couples to interview and we said yes! We've also marched 6 years in the Marriage equality contingent as well, and showed up at the various courtroom dates for the various decisions, even hearing the testimony for the original case in the California Supreme Court, and THAT was an honor! -MasterAmazon

From Dirt's blog on Transmen being Lesbophobic

MasterAmazon said...
I will keep it simple. FTM/Genderqueer/transbutch/transmasculine, and other transgender identities have BEEN EXTREMELY CORROSIVE TO LESBIAN AND WOMEN ONLY SPACES! These days, at least in SF, there are none! All the parties are now for 'women and trans', the word Lesbian is rarely used, instead events are for 'queer folks', meaning mostly bio female, perhaps inclusive of MTF's and really meant for the Dyke community, whatever the current collaboration of self hating Butches who hate their femaleness, those women who admire their new found queer more male identities, ect. ect. ect.

Any Dyke who says: " I want this space for MY community, that is, Lesbians only(and don't even mention wbw Lesbians only)" is immediately silenced, why aren't bis included, Genderqueers included, MTF's and FTM's included?

So we keep backing down, and there are virtually no Lesbian exclusive or strongly Lesbian centered spaces left. In other words men and the male born and the wanna be men have their way. Butches are questioning right and left who they are and that they must be 'the man' as the testosterone fueled machismo to 'prove' one is more manly than another rages on.

Lesbians have been effectively silenced, even though we led the way. Meanwhile gay men GET to have their gay male spaces, and they too are starting to object to so called trans gay men who don't have dick, and will never have one.

If you want queer, have queer, but if you want Dyke, and to be surrounded by all women, then it's intensely LESBIANPHOBIC TO INSIST YOU MUST BE PRESENT, while wanting to be called by male pronouns, addressed as male, honored as male,ect. ect. while IN OUR SPACES. Happens all the time.

Kudos to those FTM's who are real mensch, and who understand this, and gather instead in their own spaces, or in pansexual ones, instead of trying to force their ways into ours.

I do agree with BadDyke, that "But what's the problem some of them seem to have with butches? Is it because butches confront the strictures on women, by refusing to do femininity, whilst transmen have in effect admitted the power of those strictures by conforming to them? And butches are a constant reminder, in some sense, of their cowardice in conforming? How many times have lesbians been asked -- which one of you is the man? Neither, we keep saying, we're both women, do you get it yet? Or been asked, if you like butches, why don't you go with a REAL man? Because they're not female, and a butch is." Couldn't have said better myself, BadDyke.
-MasterAmazon

Our Amazon Breasts

"The Amazons' power is in their breasts.
'Are they warriors or priestesses?' 'Both, I suppose.'"

From AmazoNation.com

This is why we like as Amazons to bare our breasts!-M.A.

My Amazon Definition

It doesn't have to do with how far you can run, how much weight you can lift, and certainly not with patriarchal militaries. It has to do with the strong and powerful Spirit of a woman, whether 4 foot 6" and disabled, one of the most Amazonian LeatherDyke Witches I've known, who put their heart and soul into their own empowerment and that of other women as a whole....it is a Sisterhood, or whether you're 5 ft plus and 300 lbs or anything inbetween. It IS about being able to defend oneself, whether physically through the martial arts, or spiritually through magic and a powerful sharpened Female Mind, or both together. It's about never being willing to submit to men or their systems or the victimization of ANY woman throughout the world. IT's about protecting the mysteries of the Goddess, women only places and space, and about never compromising on the FULL EMPOWERMENT of women as a whole..it's also about being a woman loving woman, a Dyke who connects to women and the Sacred Female in mind, body and Spirit, bringing out her passionate Sacred Flame of Female resistance and power. And those women of all sexual orientations who love their own and other Females' Power and strength, whether sexually, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, on any or all of those levels.

Amazonism is a continual Female Resistance movement to all that patriarchal civilizations have tried to squander, suppress, beat, violate and put women down,our Priestesses, our Goddesses and our matriarchal ways of life in the past, and our Power, our Strength, our self-sufficiency, our creativity, and our Fierce Sisterhood with one another, and honor of the Sacred Female/Mother Earth/Goddess...and raising the next generation of girls and women to be similiarly empowered. This is what the Greeks and other patriarchal civilizations feared. We ARE real, and we ARE rising!
-In DykeAmazon Sisterhood,
-MasterAmazon

For more information check out: www.AmazoNation.com

One last thing: Amazons belong to an Amazon Sisterhood....whether you can connect with them now in the present, or connect with them in the past and/or future....that we are not women warriors alone in the world, but that we have a connection AS A SISTERHOOD to those who are likeminded, and that Sisterhood and sense of Sisterhood is just as important as to our own feisty and powerful qualities within where we DEMAND to be treated as equals, and fight till our last dying day for THE FULL AND TOTAL EMPOWERMENT OF OURSELVES AS WOMEN, WOMEN AS A WHOLE, AND MOTHER EARTH, AND OUR WOMON LOVING WOMON WAYS!

My response to Bev Jo's Blog on FTM's and the current cult to transition

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

July 14, 2011 at 3:38 pm


I am ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED and Chaz Bono has this in her documentary where she sits with a boyish little girl and ‘boy bonding’ where this little girl will have hormones introduced into her body at age 10 to stop from developing as female in puberty and once she reaches 16 will have opposite sex hormones introduced into her to change sex. I mean it’s bad enough that women of young legal age(18 plus) right and left are taking hormones and/or having their breasts removed or if not breast binding and hurting themselves, their lungs, their ribs and hearts in the process, but for the trans movement to go after ANY little girl or boy who rejects patriarchally forced on them femininity or masculinity, and wants to blend with either both genders toys/clothes, or be more unisex, or covets the opposite sex’s toys or clothes like I did with my brother’s stuff….to then extrapolate ‘they must be trans’ from there, REALLY REALLY DISGUSTS ME!

Thanks for bringing up the part about how Iran is footing the bill for these surgeries, how patriarchal and woman hating and anti-homosexual/anti-lesbian a culture it is, and that the CURE for homosexuality is transsexuality! I think THAT is the ultimate message. Or in the case of the already feminine young women who don’t like their status, they then want to become ‘male’ to relieve the sexism and then go after gay males! It’s all gotten way too weird for me, and NEVER ADDRESSES the problems in the first place: namely sexism and homophobia/lesbophobia and not want to have imposed cultural femininity or masculinity forced upon us…I HATED being female when I was young, in fact it wasn’t till I came out that I REALLY LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF AS A WOMON!
This the other strong Dykes taught me, and especially one particular matriarchal Butch. THAT AS A BUTCH FEMALE/LIFELONG HARDCORE TOMBOY who rejected feminine roles and straitjacketing all my life, that I had a place in the Tribe of DykeAmazons…a place of honor, power and strength, like Joan of Arc, Sappho, the powerful ancient Amazons, Gertrude Stein and all the other cross dressing intellectual and artistic dykes of that era! Or those who disguised themselves as male for male privilege, fun, adventure, or to have the woman of their dreams, knowing as women they’d never have that privilege. But that didn’t mean they ‘wanted to be dudes’ only that they wanted the same privileges as men enjoyed, without the straitjacketing enforced on the female sex. THIS is what these young women and girls don’t get…that there IS another way to be, and that we should continue working hard so ALL WOMEN CAN BE FREE, AND PROUD IN THEIR BODIES/MINDS/SPIRITS,

'100% Butch Dyke With Boobs'

I'm a Butch with Boobs and I hope to stay that way all my life. Just had my breast exam and mammogram, and want to keep these mammaries, even if they're huge...the doctor even asked if I wanted breast reduction, and I'd qualify...but I went through that once before....a 3 year wait for the appointment and missed it by a day, for a consult...and it put me through all kinds of shame and gender issues myself, thinking like alot of Butches, 'well if you're gonna make 'em smaller, just take 'em off', and I'm on so many sites these days, where Butches, and boyish queer women are talking about this right and left...or binding'em which can be very harmful to breast tissue to invisibilize them, like they did in the '50's to 'pass' as men and be able to get decent jobs they could support themselves on, as well as a level of shame....but NO, as long as these babies are healthy, I'm keeping 'em. Besides I like nipple sensation, the best part of my breasts, and if you have breast reduction surgery, or even breast removal like so many FTM's are even genderqueer types who dont' consider themselves full FTM'S are having these days, you lose all that nipple sensation!

I will keep screaming from the rooftops, as one heavily involved with womyn's and Amazon mysteries particularly, my worship of the Sacred Female on all levels, sexual, emotional, intellectual, psychic and spiritual, that one of those levels is about learning to love OUR OWN FEMALE BODIES, however we choose to express it...and that means loving our handsome Butch Breasts as well, even if we feel sometimes challenged by them and their weight..and mine are QUITE WEIGHTY. When I first came out, some dudes wondered how could I be a Lesbian/Butch if my breasts were so big? Well it has NOTHING to do with breast size, and sure, as a Butch I'd prefer that I was graced with small breasts and not huge mammaries. I like'em close to my body, no missile tits here, and I don't want them exposed where men can see them. I DON'T WANT THEM SEXUALIZED BY MEN IN ANY WAY, AND ONLY IN CERTAIN WAYS BY WOMEN. It is by the sexualization of breasts by men in particular that I think many Butches, if not many womyn, feel conflicted about their breasts.

BUT in women's ritual, my shirt comes off, like on Sunday when I celebrated Solstice on the Land with a bunch of Wildwomyn. I may be the ONLY or the first woman to whip off my shirt in a womyn's ritual circle, but that is BECAUSE I AM AN AMAZON, and a DykeAmazon at that! My bare breasts show my full womonhood, and also are almost like a Warrior part of me, displaying them. Not sexually, but IN PRIDE. And IN FREEDOM, that I can be in a space and display my FULL AMAZON WILDWOMON SELF, and that means as Amazons we can go about with our breasts bare(or more for those who like to display more). I have my Lion tattoo on my chest, my Leo power, that can only be fully seen if my shirt is off...on my back I have my sacred Rainbow wings with Kundalini Fire going up my spine, and at the top the word AMAZON emblazoned in blue Olde English script across my shoulders. These tattoos cannot be seen with a shirt on. So baring my breasts is a very empowering self loving act of wildness and DykeAmazon and Amazon freedom, in a safe space amongst womyn. I will do it in the Dyke March as well(if it's not too horribly cold).

But in the world of men, I don't want them sexualized in any capacity, so they stay hidden. Not bound, just hidden.

It is amongst young Butches/boyish Dykes/young Butch DykeAmazons, and really Amazons, Dykes and Butches/boyish Dykes of all ages, I hope to share this pride: "Be PROUD of your Femaleness, your unique expression of Womonhood, connect as strong powerful Amazon sisters in total freedom and pride with what Goddess gave you, and release all that shame!"

So this Butch DykeAmazon will be wearing a t-shirt to put the knives and surgeon scapels away, and be proud to be a 'Butch with Boobs!' this Pride season!
-In Sisterhood,
-MasterAmazon

In response to Dirt's topic on 'Gender Identity Dismantled', and as Butches REMAINING in the Sisterhood!

June 20, 2011 3:45 PM



MasterAmazon said...
Another good post Dirt, and glad to see Double Ax joining us. I DO agree that trans is about the destruction of Butch Dykedom. I am DREADING SF Dyke March because I will be saddened to see more of my own now announce how proud they are that they are becoming FTM...yeah crashing the Dyke March party sporting their beards, flat chests, hormone induced attitudes, even though there was a Trans March(always copying us Dykes) the night before in the same space! And then they'll want to bring the parallels between the two communities together now that so many Butches consider themselves some version of male, whether 'Genderqueer' or full FTM(sans the bottom surgery most of 'em).

Most that I've known were originally handsome Butch Dykes, but as soon as they transition, with the whole narcissitic obsession with their changing bodies they begin to start fucking gay males, partly because they don't want to leave the 'queer' community, partly because they now are worshipping maleness within their own personhood/body, whereas being a true blue Butch Dyke is all about LOVING or LEARNING TO LOVE ONESELF as the handsome, strong powerful take up our space Amazon womyn we are and as lovers of womyn!

This is one reason I probably won't be going to Butch Voices in Oakland either, because they are the voices of 'butches' who really are 'genderqueer, FTM, or male worshipping' and NOT Female identified Butches...in fact SEVERAL of us Locals tried to put on specifically a Female Identified Butch workshop from diverse points of view, and ALL OF US FEMALE IDENTIFIED BUTCHES had our workshops shot down, in favor of Sasha Goldberg who is a failed FTM, had her breasts cut off, and even bragged about it at the time, and with that male appearing hormone induced voice, now deciding, she really is a 'female identified' Butch...yeah....and their little Genderqueer darling.

Unless Female Identified and Female Loving Butches begin to SERIOUSLY organize and develope alternatives, and TAKE BACK OUR RICH AND PROUD BUTCH DYKE HERSTORY, we will be neigh invisible,and indeed it will be the'genocide of the butch' as I see every time I go back to San Francisco...and am dreading on Saturday and Sunday seeing who else has jumped on the trans/genderqueer/call me by male pronouns/cut off my breasts and take male hormones and sport a beart/stache bandwagon...WHILE STILL INFILTRATING AND COOPTING DYKE COMMUNITIES!
-MasterAmazon

June 21, 2011 5:56 PM



MasterAmazon said...
Also wanted to add this:
"Not one items above cannot be explained away by narrow gender norms society seeks to enforce and reinforce on a multitude of levels everyday. That the male medical machine is utilized in this endeavor is hardly surprising, they have been utilized to maintain "normality" for centuries using similar mechanism of torture." From Dirt

I SO AGREE with the above statement. Butches throughout history when found out they were living as men and loving women, assuming male privileges were often banished, murdered or put to death. In the 50's and before up until at least the 1980's Butches have been put in mental institutions and sometimes treated horribly with attempts to feminize them before they'd be allowed to be released, aversion therapy, electroshocked, and in the 1920's having their clitorises removed for being too sexually active and independent. Talk about trying to make someone not just feminine, and 'fit into' perfect ladylike roles, but also attempting to make them an 'ex-gay', and then there IS the 'ex-gay' movement which deliberately tries to feminize Butches, shame them, as well as try to get them to have sexual feelings to men. The psychiatric has never been kind to ANYONE with homosexual inclinations, and ESPECIALLY those who didn't conform to the feminine straitjacket and were too Butchy or tomboyish in the case of females, or too effeminate in the case of males.

So now the trans movement leans upon both psychiatry, psychology and medical doctors, the very institutions that have oppressed ALL homosexuals, and especially those NOT in the 'gender straitjacket' for hundreds of years, to help them NOW CONFORM to another 'gender binary' as they are so comfortable saying....that whole 'gender binary' crap is all a load of bullshit, used to silence Butch Dykes, other Lesbians and even some gay men now who object to how the trans movement is destroying our communities and abilities to relate to one another whether as Lesbian women loving women who LOVE or are learning to LOVE our own born female bodies, no matter our expressions, whether Butch, Femme or Androgynous or anything inbetween, or infiltrating the gay community with those with hetero/bi tendencies who don't have dicks but consider themselves 'gay'.

Maybe I DON'T want to hear discussions of hormones, surgeries, whining, villification of Lesbians, or being assumed I or my partner as a default because we are Butch are assumed to LIKE being called by male pronouns in all circumstances, and our very Femaleness invisibilized, as it's always been for Butches, the self fulfilling prophecy 'you just want to be a man' that is always hurtled at us because we TAKE UP OUR SPACE AND DON'T BACK DOWN, and that we are outside of womonhood altogether..... -M.A.

June 21, 2011 6:07 PM



MasterAmazon said...
One last thing: We ARE NOT OUTSIDE OF WOMONHOOD altogether, and feminine especially straight and sold out bi women try to sell us that line, activist Femme Dykes love Butches BECAUSE WE ARE WOMYN, and share that with them: though we may be tough, we are also compassionate, sensual, sexual and loving and often put our partner's sexual pleasure above or at least equal to our own. ALMOST NO MAN EVER DOES THAT!!! And that is exactly WHY we are different from them...at least one of the reasons. There are many flavors of womonhood/femaleness, and we MUST CLAIM our part in it, and NOT allow ourselves to be shut out of womonhood OR Sisterhood especially, we have been some of the FIERCEST Sisters. Think of the ancient powerful Gorgon Amazons, the most radical ones, and there were many others, and whether they were Butch, androgynous, and I can't imagine they were high femme because they were rebelling against the straitjacketing of female power and movement and expression because of the incoming patriarchal religious systems and societies, they were 'not nice' about it, and we gotta lose our 'niceness', in favor of our freedom and of our very core identities and Selves as part of the Sisterhood...not written out of it as 'Butch bros'! I fucking hate that! I'm not a 'Butch bro', I'm a Butch DykeAmazon and fierce Sister in the Sisterhood! And I will be till the day I die!
-MasterAmazon

Responses to those who say "I'm not a Feminist" while they claim they are into Womyn's Spirituality/Ritual

Feminism STARTED this recent matriarchal renaissance. Without it we wouldn't have had Lesbian Feminism to empower Lesbians and create our own Dyke Marches, we wouldn't have had women's health care centers to stand up to the anti-choice folks, though like most women's stuff it has all gone defunct. Essentially much of feminism has died...our women's bookstores are all but defunct. There isn't a single one in the Bay Area, and most are gone across the nation..this was a place women could get alot of information, feminist, lesbian, women's empowerment and women's spirituality books, lucky to find a new one online...but nowhere to go and just connect with other women, socialize, go to a small concert there or hear a feminist/lesbian/women's spirituality author read from her new book and sign it for you.

They were our mini women's centers and hangouts where we could really feel community and safe. We wouldn't have had feminist Take Back the Night Marches and self defense workshops and Feminist women only martial arts schools to confront violence and abuse against women and girls and raise their consciousness to STOP the violence and to empower them. Most of those are gone too. We wouldn't have had our Feminist printing presses that printed our tomes because the mainstream press wouldn't even touch our issues and therefore we were effectively silenced till we created those printing presses...sadly most of those are gone too. We have taken such a huge leap backwards.

While women can get into new trades and careers, they are no longer supported by a strong and powerful Sisterhood behind them. And like I said before, it's Feminism that started the Tradeswomen movement which is still active today, but we are still at the same numbers (2%)dealing with the same issues we dealt with 30 years ago, and yet Affirmative Action, except on federal projects has been stripped away, thanks to the rightwing.

We are almost at the point of losing abortion rights, not my struggle, though I support it, cuz I'm a Dyke and have plenty of my own, like convincing young nonfeminist butch/boyish dykes that they should hold onto their breasts and feel empowered in their femaleness instead of so willing to shed it to taste the power of men at the expense of their own bodies and psyches...it is absolutely epidemic in the younger butch lesbian generation...BECAUSE THERE IS NO RADICAL LESBIAN FEMINISM and all our institutions have largely gone away: our bookstores, printing presses, women only events, grassroots sisterly spirit, and PRIDE in ourselves for being female, instead of shame. Too easy to be ready to take hormones and surgeries to counter the sexism, lesbophobia, and straightjacketing of female roles and opportunities they see......and they are NOT Female proud, like we were in the heady days of Lesbian Feminism in the '80's with our nascent and growing women's and Lesbian institutions.

We've lost so many of our women's businesses, by and for Lesbians and Women to have a safe place to go.....the biggest success has been the Women's Spirituality movement, but there too, so many of these young women don't feel they 'fit in', because they are essentially feeling shamed for even declaring their womonhood and their Femaleness, because it's different from the mainstream/malestream. So they identify as 'queer', 'genderqueer' instead...I hardly see Butch women at women's spirituality events and circles anymore, or even Lesbian and women only events...because they sadly, no longer see themselves as BEING INCLUDED in WOMONHOOD! And this is all very, very sad to me....the death of our Feminist institutions, and our safe places and our Feminist/Women/Lesbian businesses, cafes, ect. Even Osento our women only hot tub place the last to go on Dyke row on Valencia Street in San Francisco, shut down last year!

Feminism is about the FULL AND TOTAL EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN AS A WHOLE...and there are many kinds of Feminisms.......some fit some of us, others do not. But to simply say...."I'm for all people's rights, but not necessarily a Feminist" denies that women are STILL OPPRESSED fundamentally, that we struggle under a patriarchal system, and while we've gained some pieces of the pie, we still got a LONG WAY TO GO! And in some ways have gone backwards....
-In Sisterhood,
-MasterAmazon

"Claim Your Power"

Dear DykeAmazon Pals,
I will be leading a large women only ritual in August with this theme. As it's been a difficult year for me economically due to the economic downturn, I've been struggling more with financial issues and some difficulties bringing this ritual together. It's not coming easy, though I've been doing alot of study. There has been some turnover in co-leadership so I'm taking it on solo at this point, along with my lead Amazon Drumming Priestess, both of us depicted in the photo above! So, for some inspiration from the community at large, I'm wanting to do a very primal Amazon/Wildwomyn oriented ritual, unlike most Dianic/regular rituals where we REALLY feel the energies and our Powers and connect with Goddess in a very visceral real way, as well as with each other, weaving together our Sisterhood, AND claiming our power both within ourselves and from the Patriarchy. So, I'd like to know, what does 'Claiming Your Power' mean for each one of you???? Any positive input would be much appreciated! Thank you for responding and sharing your voice with me! If you'd like some energy too, I'm sure that could be arranged, because this will NOT only be about the women there, but for ALL WOMYN throughout the world to claim their power too, and the healing and connnection with Mother Earth and Her creatures so at risk environmentally.
-In Sisterhood,
-MasterAmazon

Now You See Them Now You Don't: For access to blog article below pictures

I apologize for the lack of the pictures. Here's the link for the original article. http://womensmediacenter.com/blog/2011/05/exclusive-now-you-see-them-now-you-dont/

Invisibility of Women thru Male Religion and liberal male sexism

This is a really great article showing from both sides the invisibility of women including Hillary Clinton through religious male sexism, and photoshopping of female images for male benefit.


EXCLUSIVE: Now You See Them, Now You Don’t

By Merav Michaeli

May 25, 2011



Israeli journalist Merav Michaeli explains why a Brooklyn newspaper recently removed Hillary Clinton from a famous photograph: another case of Photoshop in service to the patriarchy.


"Der Tzitung" woman-less version of the Situation Room photograph.

It used to be magic, now it’s only Photoshop: Hasidic newspapers erased Hillary Clinton and Audrey Tomason (director for counterterrorism in the Obama Administration) from the iconic photograph of the situation room during the Bin-Laden hit. It’s nothing personal. Under the excuse of fostering sexual restraint (the Hasidic newspaper also claimed multiculturalism freedom as a further justification for the erasure), religious authorities are laboring to create a women-free world: a pure surrounding for the angelical Jew or Muslim man. For that purpose, women are made to cover themselves completely (even Christian nuns are required to cover their heads totally, unlike priests), their movement is strictly controlled, they are banned from entering certain places, segregated and silenced. Sometimes even the mention of their name is absent from an invitation to a family event.


The photograph, pre-Photoshop

In the real world, with actual women, this fantasy of a women-free environment is coming up against a growing difficulty—after all, in secular states segregation is unacceptable; even in Israel the fight against segregation is attaining success and in the Muslim world the feminist fight is growing with diligence; also there are some things for which women are still needed. In the meantime, this fantasy can come true in the world of images. And indeed: woman will not be shown in Jewish Orthodox areas and newspapers in Israel. No matter if it is a model, an actress or the head of Opposition Tzipi Livni, whose face was missing from the billboards of her campaign for prime minister. Even the photograph of a mother who was killed with her family in the settlement Itamar two month ago was missing from the report in an Orthodox newspaper. The exact same goes for religious Muslim newspapers and in representation in public sphere.

Having to survive within secular societies, this elimination of women and their representation is a tool to differentiate holy from earthy—us from them. Everything in a religious community is regulated, everything is either Kosher (ours) or non-Kosher (theirs). How does one make a newspaper, a secular object by definition, into a kosher one that is ours? Take out the women. All women, no exceptions, and there you are: a safe kosher newspaper.

For the record: there is no basis in the Torah or in the Koran for not showing women; it is all interpretations on top of interpretations. Clearly, the fundamental purpose for which the so-called religious argumentation is recruited is the achieving and maintaining of the patriarchic hierarchy, that which is in the core of all three main religions. From bottom to top—woman, man and the main man: God. In fact, Patriarchy is their religion.

But leaving it all on the religious is far too easy and irrelevant. Patriarchy may be the actual religion, but it is also still the dominating ideology and practice just as much in the Secular, Liberal western world. A fresh demonstration related to this case is given by the liberal Stephen Colbert when he criticized the Hasidic newspaper for erasing Hillary Clinton from the photograph, and while doing so insinuated that the hilarious part is suggesting that women like Hillary Clinton or Margaret Thatcher can be considered sexually attractive.

And indeed, since it is all about male sexual urges, Photoshop is the perfect nutshell for the whole story. Photoshop is used regularly to manipulate women’s bodies: lengthen legs, narrow waists, slim hips, enlarge breasts, push up cheek bones. Photoshop is used in a way that regards women as sex objects and makes sure they are made into such, according to the latest standard designed by men to fulfill their fantasy. Since it is all about the male fantasy, why should the Secular, Liberal male fantasy be more legitimate than the Orthodox male fantasy? Why should it be allowed that Photoshop execute one male fantasy but not the other? Essentially, the secular manipulation and the religious one are the same one, only with someone else holding the brush, leading to an outcome that looks differently but does the same: it rips off a woman from the autonomy of her body, from her own voice and her independent existence as a free human being in this world. And the Secular, Liberal brush is far more sophisticated and effective.

The views expressed in this commentary are those of the author alone and do not represent WMC. WMC is a 501(c)(3) organization and does not endorse candidates.



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This entry was written by Merav Michaeli, posted on May 25, 2011 at 1:06 am, filed under *Feature*, Exclusives, Exclusives Articles, Uncategorized, WMC and tagged Der Tzitung, Hillary Clinton, Merav Michaeli, Osama Bin Laden, religious patriarchy, women in media. Bookmark the permalink.

Post off of Dirt's site, and quoting from C.L. who asks a question about Butches, whether Lesbian or Straight and my response

"I have noticed that only lesbian women are allowed to be butch in our society and then only begrudgingly by a society that would rather erase these women completely.
Do you think society will ever be ok with straight butch women?" -C.L.

May 18, 2011 12:33 PM



MasterAmazon said...
As long as femininity is put on a pedestal, even in the women's spirituality movement, the term: "Divine Feminine", [I much prefer the term Sacred Female, or to amend it to Divine Female to include us Butches]when indeed there are thousands of Goddess representations of all body sizes, races, temperaments, expressions, ect. of such a diversity we NEVER see in the media, one can see with the Goddess images themselves how originally they were very primal, mostly a depiction of garguantuan undefined females(meaning more of a universal Female)_that as civilization continues they get shrunken down in size, and concurrently with the particular culture, the reverence of women get shrunken down in power and ability, She is more and more feminized and differentiated.

To look back there are only a handful of Goddesses I could cite who are 'Butch', if not solely in appearance, certainly in temperament, defenders of women and of women's mysteries, often Warriors and Protectors in their own right, and the Crone, the aged one is considered the most powerful in Her way....these Goddesses get demonized the more patriarchal males begin to empower themselves AT THE EXPENSE OF WOMEN, and women's spiritual power, demonize any form of physical or sexual deviance, and replace the honoring of the Sacred Female, the Warriors, the Priestesses, the Amazons, with THEIR OWN worship of the male,does the Goddesses then become more and more helpmates, highly feminized, sexualized, and then ultimately invisibilized....that the roles of women are shrunken down, the acceptable appearances of women further controlled, the more women, whether a form of womon loving womon Butch, or a strong peasant kind of heterosexual capable woman Butchness to work the farm, handle animals, tools or even choose to go to war, begins to be demonized.

The Butch THREATENS patriarchal males, because she takes up her space in a way a woman is 'not meant to', because now she's meant to be his helpmate, fuck object,in the domestic sphere providing sons for him, ect. ect., and ANY FEMALE out of that role with much greater independence is a threat BECAUSE SHE COULD BE A SEXUAL or Economic equal! She could be competing for women too, or competing for the same opportunities to make a heroic name for herself, or have a legacy. But by keeping her down, and demonizing the Butch aspect of Femaleness, straight or Lesbian, as well as the Crone aspect(older women who were tribal healers/shamans/spiritually and magically powerful), and ONLY honoring the nubile Maiden to be conquered for her 'maidenhead', or the nurturing Mother aspect to be the bearer of his sons, all of women's power has thusly been stolen away by and for the spiritual, economic, emotional and physical ascendancy and pleasures of men....hence the state we STILL are in to this day..as we scrabble for what few rights we do have....
-MasterAmazon

Warrior Goddesses: A post I wrote for Medusa Coils' blog

I'm proud to be a Dyke Amazon Warrior/Amazon Witch, and a lifelong martial artist. I combined all these aspects of me to define my spirituality and the spiritual mysteries I teach as an Amazon Warrior/Amazon Witch/Amazon Priestess....I believe the ancient Amazons were the last defenders of the Matriarchy, those peaceloving cultures of the Mother that were being badly trounced by some of the more patriarchal Greek, Roman and other cultures....
As in the martial arts, when I see that energy in the Sacred Female, at least the dieties I personally work with, it is always and primarily IN DEFENSE, and Self-Defense, not in aggression and conquering of other peoples and other ways of being, but protecting ourselves as womyn, our Sacred Mysteries and our Sacred places and Female spaces.....
I have never been a pacifist, but neither do I support warmongering either and the support of constant warmaking. This is PRECISELY WHY I'm into Goddess worship and ultimately worship the Goddess of 10,000 Names as She comes in many forms and temperaments, connecting with those that fit for me and that I need in my life and connect best with. The whole concept of a matriarchal peaceloving culture like Catal Huyuk lasting 1000 years without war is amazing to me...and what I long for. But as a Butch Dyke, just to survive, I need to be an AmazonWarrior, a Warrior for women and myself as the type of woman I am, just to survive in a world that would just extinguish my kind.
The other side of me is Amazon Priestess, where I serve Her and Her beautiful Planet and womyn and She guides and moves through me...these are deep deep vows I have taken being on this Path of Goddess worship for 30 years, ever since the Dyke Witches brought me out in 1981!

About being/staying a Butch Female rather than transitioning to male: response to Dirt's blog 'What would make you transition to male?'

March 28, 2011 2:43 PM


i.d. said...
"I have a very feminine face that could be considered 'beautiful'. This means I'm unable to 'pass' most of the time, also that some men actually find me attractive despite the fact I have a shaved head and wear men's clothes. I also have gay men trying to hit on me because of my feminine face etc which must make them think I am a young boy etc.

I know Dirt thinks passing isn't a good thing, but frankly, why would I want to live a life of hassle and homophobia by being openly masculine and female. What kind of a life is that eh?"
___________________________________
MasterAmazon's reply:
Well, some gay men's pedophilia really does get to me.... or their worship of very young men....and they DO hit up on Butch Dykes too, including when I was younger and thinner, and almost always on my first partner in SF, who was petite and Butch thinking she was just out of boyhood...which disgusted both of us....that IS a real phenomena, and BEING MEN, they don't have sexual boundaries oftentimes, or respect. One drag queen at the last gay event I went to felt up my Butch partner's nipples as they passed by and I was out of the room. My partner was very upset about it..it was very clear she was a BUTCH DYKE, NOT a dude! And yet, this drag queen felt they had the right and privilege to hit on her....

At the end of the night the drag queen touched my arm, and I said "Don't EVER touch my partner again!". Which makes me NOT want to be in mixed situations with gay men...

But what kind of life can you live as a Butch Female, indeed if that is what you are, which just by what you say you may not be, is living a life of integrity. I was NEVER feminine, maybe at a very young age I didn't object to wearing dresses, because I didn't know about the differences between boys and girls and I hadn't yet felt the deep sting of being treated differently than my brother. I was the older sibling, and I went to an all girls school where we were all equals....it wasn't till I began to realize around age 7 that I was treated differently and forced to play with dolls and do domestic things like cook and clean while my brother didn't have to do either, that I objected...and began to adopt more tomboy ways...I've been a tomboy all my life since then..it's not something 'I decided' to be, like one day you're Butch, the next day Femme or feminine...so what are you saying? That you'd rather stay feminine so the gay boys leave you alone, or you'd rather transition to male, where THEY'D STILL HIT ON YOU, NOW THAT YOU'RE FULLY MALE APPEARING?

Being and staying a Butch Dyke is LIVING a life of integrity, not having to 'pass' either as feminine to survive, like many Butches had to do in the past, especially in regards to work, and could only 'butch it up' in the dyke bar scene, or to submerge my Butch Femaleness by adopting even more male attitudes, hardening myself, or transitioning to male.

So yes, you'd deal with homophobia and hassle being an open Butch FEMALE, rather than passing as either feminine, or transitioning to FTM, but you'd also be living a LIFE OF INTEGRITY, where you did not have to hide who you truly are.
That is why I see most Butch Females as true Amazons, because we are strong, powerful womyn, part of a Sacred Sisterhood of women loving women, throughout time....and that WE ARE NOT ALONE, even if sometimes it feels that way!
-MasterAmazon

The F Word: Who Wants to be a Feminist? - Doc Zone | CBC-TV

The F Word: Who Wants to be a Feminist? - Doc Zone | CBC-TV

My Final Statement for now on my Amazon Path I live and teach that's for wbw only

The Amazon Path in particular, at least the one I work with, honors us Butches especially because many of us didn't fit into the traditional Maiden/Mother/Crone so we tapped into the Amazon category as another aspect which better reflected our fierce Female Butch Warrior Selves connected with the Ancient Amazons, and representing a particular direction....Many of us would defend and protect the integrity of born female space till the day we die, because we KNOW it represents a reality many of us cannot possibly express to the outside world, and is so needed.
-MasterAmazon

Controversy around wbw space for Amazon Lilith Rite at Pantheacon

This is my response:

I AM an Amazon Warrior and a Butch Dyke. I circle in mostly Dianic circles and certainly women only ones. I also teach Amazon mysteries and for me, they are meant to be for bio female women born women only…the womb is a part of it, but there is also an energy between women that stems from our bodies since birth, and for those retaining their Female proud identity. While Z spoke perhaps unskillfully about the Dianic tradition, and it’s unfortunate that Rabbit didn’t make it clearer that the Amazon workshop was exclusively for born females only, there has been an onslaught against not just women born women space, i.e Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival both by those born male living as transfemales, but also those born female living as male/genderqueer. I’ve heard all the trans rhetoric before, have known my fair share of trans of either gender, ect. ect. ect. There is an impasse. In many folks mind there is NO reason why we should defend born female space, by and for those born as females, whether you’re Butch, Femme, androgynous, Amazon, whatever, living in a Female body AS a Female. And Females come in many stripes.

Those born male have had privileges they won’t own up to, especially autogynophilic transsexuals/transgenders who had successful careers as powerful men, married to women AS A MAN, with very male privilege, then come into the Lesbian community and expecting us to kowtow to them and their needs in the same manner as straight women kowtowed to them in the straight world. A stridency and assumption of privilege NEVER taking ‘no’ for an answer.

Those transitioning or considering themselves male or some version of male don’t belong in women born women space either because they are not Female Proud. They reject their female identity. I understand the pain being a Butch Lesbian of the discrimination in the work world, out on the street and in my own family of what it is like not to be ‘feminine’ and rejecting of femininity WHICH DOES NOT EQUAL WOMONHOOD OR FEMALENESS, ANY MORE THAN MASCULINITY EQUALS MALENESS, both are social constructs, and NOT physical or sexual realities, and the discrimination for not fitting into society’s boxes. This I do thoroughly understand and have my OWN incidents on the streets and with folks in the world for not being ‘gender conforming’.

And yet Dianic Wicca has given me immense pride in being Female, in being a Lesbian(the Dyke Witches brought me out)and in the POWER of bio Females of all stripes coming together to worship Goddess. There is a special magic to it that goes beyond words, but to pure energy. I have felt it particularly in Amazon rituals I have led where there are more Butch Females present, many Lesbians and very strong Femmes. It IS a bio-female Mystery. And the Amazon Traditions are somewhat different and even a bit wilder than strictly Dianic Wicca….but very parallel to that Tradition in many ways. AND WBW ONLY!

Trans individuals HAVE THEIR OWN MYSTERIES to explore rather than riding the coattails of Lesbians, Lesbian and Female Traditions, communities or spaces, and it goes back to the Castrati of the Goddess Kybele, who removed their male members(penises) in ecstatic rites to the Goddess Kybele, and lived as eunuchs and/or MTFs the rest of their lives. Janus was another bi-gendered Diety as well that could be honored, and there’s NOBODY saying that ANY individual cannot invoke ANY Diety, Male or Female or Both or Inbetween that Calls to them.

What we are saying is that we have our OWN Rites and it is just as discriminatory to INSIST on having access to them, as it would be if I INSISTED on attending Native American ceremonies without permission by actual Natives because I ‘vibe’ with Native Traditions and identify hugely with their people and energies….OR I ‘vibe’ with African American folks and insist on being part of THEIR rites, whether invited or not, because I have a right to, and they’re being discriminatory if they don’t allow me….that is cooptation at it’s very worst, and the trans community in either direction have particularly focussed on the bio female women’s communities and Lesbian communities and INSISTED on their ‘rights’ to be in our spaces, whether we agree to it or not.

There is an integrity to the Female body, from birth, from coming outside our Mother’s wombs as born Females, being raised as Females whether we conformed to appropiate ‘gender roles’ or not, or resisted feminization like so many Butches have, went through puberty AS FEMALES, came into menarche AS FEMALES, and chose whether to have children or not, come out as Lesbians and be free from childbearing, or practiced a lifetime of birth control, and looked to all of the world for a place to find home, as I have with Amazon mysteries, from the age of 10, in 5th Grade, when the Goddess first Called to me through studying the Greek religion and myths in school, searching for a Female Diety that more reflected my Female body, and a people that reflected my tomboy sensibilities that WAS NOT MALE…the Amazons, and the Maidens of Artemis. To get into the martial arts in the mid ’70′s when few girls or women were doing martial arts, and even full contact, that grew my Amazon capabilities; and to see that same Amazonian energy in other bio Female women I sparred; and to eventually come out as a Dyke and to meet Dyke Witches in my Feminism and Philosophy Class and go to my first women only rituals and wake up something that has stirred inside me lifelong.

This is a VERY DIFFERENT Path than what those born male, or even intersex have gone through, and later decide to transition to female; and certainly those who decide they really are male and that Lesbian or Butch identity is not enough for them and they really feel they are males.

-To my Sister Amazons, Female proud Butches and Dianics stay strong,
-FeistyAmazon