I will keep it simple. FTM/Genderqueer/transbutch/transmasculine, and other transgender identities have BEEN EXTREMELY CORROSIVE TO LESBIAN AND WOMEN ONLY SPACES! These days, at least in SF, there are none! All the parties are now for 'women and trans', the word Lesbian is rarely used, instead events are for 'queer folks', meaning mostly bio female, perhaps inclusive of MTF's and really meant for the Dyke community, whatever the current collaboration of self hating Butches who hate their femaleness, those women who admire their new found queer more male identities, ect. ect. ect.
Any Dyke who says: " I want this space for MY community, that is, Lesbians only(and don't even mention wbw Lesbians only)" is immediately silenced, why aren't bis included, Genderqueers included, MTF's and FTM's included?
So we keep backing down, and there are virtually no Lesbian exclusive or strongly Lesbian centered spaces left. In other words men and the male born and the wanna be men have their way. Butches are questioning right and left who they are and that they must be 'the man' as the testosterone fueled machismo to 'prove' one is more manly than another rages on.
Lesbians have been effectively silenced, even though we led the way. Meanwhile gay men GET to have their gay male spaces, and they too are starting to object to so called trans gay men who don't have dick, and will never have one.
If you want queer, have queer, but if you want Dyke, and to be surrounded by all women, then it's intensely LESBIANPHOBIC TO INSIST YOU MUST BE PRESENT, while wanting to be called by male pronouns, addressed as male, honored as male,ect. ect. while IN OUR SPACES. Happens all the time.
Kudos to those FTM's who are real mensch, and who understand this, and gather instead in their own spaces, or in pansexual ones, instead of trying to force their ways into ours.
I do agree with BadDyke, that "But what's the problem some of them seem to have with butches? Is it because butches confront the strictures on women, by refusing to do femininity, whilst transmen have in effect admitted the power of those strictures by conforming to them? And butches are a constant reminder, in some sense, of their cowardice in conforming? How many times have lesbians been asked -- which one of you is the man? Neither, we keep saying, we're both women, do you get it yet? Or been asked, if you like butches, why don't you go with a REAL man? Because they're not female, and a butch is." Couldn't have said better myself, BadDyke.