Drumming Amazon

Drumming Amazon
Drumming DykeAmazon

Big Dyke from SF Dyke March

Big Dyke from SF Dyke March

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

To Marjaerwin: About Butchness and Being a Butch Dyke

Marjaerwin, I'm not sure what you mean that 'if I ever was butch, I don't think I can be butch.' Either you are, or you aren't. I knew I was a 'masculine female' from a very young age. It took me all the way to college to then figure out I was a Lesbian, partly coming into the women's/lesbian movement on campus(Feminist Alliance/Lesbian Caucus) and my own proclivities when it no longer worked out with men...and my only male attractions were to gay men...and by watching their coming out process, I realized I was attracted emotionally to my best friend, and always had been to my best female friends. But for me, I never thought of it as sexual...until college.

Well back to 'Butchness'. I was a hardcore tomboy, I didn't relate to the female roles or role models laid down for me. I much more identified with Captain Kirk and his strength, adventures and power than I did with almost all the female roles depicted on television with the exception of Wonder Woman. Not the scantily clad outfit she wore, but her power and strength and ESPECIALLY when she went home to her 'Island of Women', her Amazon tribe! That fueled my fire. Also reading Greek mythology and identifying with the Goddess Artemis who I connect with to this very day...that I wanted to run away to Her refuge in the forest, like some of the Greek girls did, so they could be free amongst each other and in the woods, and not enslaved in a Greek marriage. And of course the stories of the ancient Amazons......

But back then there were very few role models. At age 7 I rejected dolls, age 10, dresses, at age 12 I announced to my beloved grandfather that I would never get married(to a man), have a baby or have sex...well 2 out of 3 I kept....I didn't realize my aversion to sex was in relating to men...but neither did I want to be anybody's 'wife'. I did marry legally my equally Butch partner though, here in California.

I identified with all the male roles, all the male forms of dress because I found most things about girls and women to be humilating and drudgery, talk of babies and housework and propping up male egos. I wanted the power, the action and adventure that men and boys got to experience, and I fought my way into boys environments where I got to have those things, but still experienced much discrimination for 'being a girl'. From exploring the alleyways in New York City, bike riding, playing baseball with them, to being the only girl on the hockey team when I moved to Colorado, in fact, in the entire league, cuz I didn't want to be left out, and eventually into the martial arts, which has been my niche ever since.

I've done these things and came into these sports/arts at an early age, with a Butch Dyke sensibility, proud of my Tomboy status...I hated the sissy stuff, I hated being dressed up in dresses.

Eventually when I was most confused, and right before I came out, a male therapist asked if I wanted to 'be a man', that is, with a penis. I thought about that for a week, and was so grossed out by their protruberances, and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, that it's not the equipment I wanted, but the power, the ability to move in the world, to wear anything I wanted to that made me feel strong and powerful, to DO anything I wanted without being limited by sex.

Fortunately I found Feminism at age 9, and it burned within me...that was the very beginning of the Feminist movement in NYC, and when the girls I carpooled with to school spoke of it, the hope of FINALLY becoming equal and having the exact same privileges men and boys get to enjoy, burned within me. That women and girls ARE equal, powerful and strong, just like the Greek Goddesses, especially Artemis, that I was studying in 5th and 6th grade. I understood the Greek religion through Greek mythology better than my own Judaism...and read stories every single day before classes started....I LOVED the idea of Female diety, though nobody else around me actively worshipped it....strong powerful Females with special powers who had their own agency!

Butchness is like that...many of us are born to it, it's who we are, we resist and reject feminisation. Maybe we see too clearly the raw deal that most women and girls get, and WE REFUSE at a very young age to kowtow to those pressures. We then identify with the more empowered of the two sexes...since we know no other way to be.

Fortunately, these days there are far more role models, like K.D. Lang, who as a Butch sang beautifully in her pants, vest and jacket, at the Vancouver Olympics Opening Ceremony, fully Dyke, Female and Butch! Or Ellen who is more androgynous...soft butch or an androgyne....but still tomboyish, with her own talk show, but there aren't too many other Butch/Masculine/Tomboyish/Amazon Lesbian role models on high levels. Even at the Olympics we're often invisibilized, something that continually happens to Butches, to masculine women, women who resist femininity and feminisation, but STILL POWERFULLY FEMALE in OUR OWN Amazonian ways....

We exist in every nation throughout the world, but we're heavily suppressed by the powers that be. I mean, I watched the American female hockey skaters battling the Chinese and the Swedish teams, and I noticed under their masks EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD MAKEUP ON! I mean, come on, that would NEVER be asked of the guys...makeup on when you're sweating hard on the ice? But that's how much Butchness and overt Dykeness is feared. I HUNGER for Butch images that are fully empowering, and there's part of me that feels this is part of the reason so many transition to FTM, because they don't see these images, and they're so heavily suppressed by media, plus the discrimination on a daily basis us Butches experience.

Either you are, or you aren't and if you are, you'll know it inside, cuz femininity is fine on other womyn, to each their own, but not for me.....give me my jeans, corduroy, cotton t shirts, flannels, and leather....

-In Sisterhood,

Not just a 'club' it IS an Identity: Response to Michfest list

n California
Posted: 11 32010v 08 2006 Post subject:


It IS an identity, call it XX and it's existed at least for 120,000 years, back to the first bio female who bled the menstrual blood. Should we stand in all our armour and gauntlets with labryises in hand enforcing the boundaries like our ancient Amazons had the guts to do, defending their territories and sisters? These days the pen or the keyboard is mightier than the sword...but nonetheless we have our Labryises tattooed on our flesh and WE KNOW those womyn's mysteries that draws us to bio-female space and Dyke space honoring us in ALL our Amazonian powers of which Michfest is but one womanifestation...the largest one, the Crown Jewel of Lesbian/Amazon/DykeAmazon Nation.....our Dyke Marches have been infiltrated in the Cities, our clubs, our groups, and most of our Lesbian environments and businesses have been shut down or closed or altered so obviously by those wearing male parts or displaying male parts(breastless hairy chests, arms, ect and scratchy testosterone hormone induced voices and attitudes, or the mincing faux femininity of the male born who really have NO CLUE what bio-females go through on a worldwide basis, but still working hard on coopting our identities as women, as Dykes, as Lesbians), that some of us are those DykeAmazons Butch and Femme and otherwise alike who stand strong that THIS IS OUR TRIBE, OUR IDENTITY, and we have as much right to it as any other Nation or Nation State or Tribe or People...and the others continue to coopt and silence us!

Well guess what, we're exposing your crimes and your lies and your bullshit and WE WON'T STAND FOR THIS ANY LONGER! Michfest is no longer the ONLY place calling it as it is, and how much the trans movement is so male identified and actively lies about it's agenda as well as being incredibly anti-Lesbian and anti-Feminist, and I'm not talking a p.c. line here, cuz I'm not p.c myself, but I AM talking a strong Dyke line connected with the empowerment of bio-females throughout the world...and especially for Dykes, Butches, Femmes and others....STOP coopting us, and STOP SILENCING us....we're tired of your destructiveness to our communities, our spaces, our places, and the destruction of our very women, convincing them instead they gotta be 'male' because they dont' 'fit in' to some heterosexual rule of what a female can be.....just because you want to mutilate YOUR OWN body.

We'll continue to speak up in EVERY FORUM we can, to expose the lies and speak our Truths about our Tribe, our DykeAmazon Nation, Our Butches and Femmes, and Lesbians, our Womyn Loving Womyn who want nothing but other Dykes/Lesbians to love, who have their bio-female bodies fully intact! Not bending to the pressure. Or not born male.
-Labryis Swinging,
P.S. Sisters the flame burns bright, you are NOT alone..we are a Tribe, a Dyke Nation, a people, and we will no longer be colonized in mind, body or spirit!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Note to Radical Lesbian Feminists who reject Butch identity as valid

I am also a Butch lesbian who has all her life resisted feminisation. I prefer relating to other Butch Lesbians, who understand both my oppression as a Butch Dyke, and share it, but also have similar sensibilities and passions...this aspect of Lesbian sexuality is rarely addressed, often denied and ignored in favor of the whole Butch/Femme debate. Being a Butch is NOT just who I sexually relate to as a Dyke, but who I am inside. I can appreciate both Butches and Femmes, though my preference is for other Butches, my last relationship was with a Femme, my current relationship is with another Butch loving Butch.

It's NOT just about 'roles', it's about who I am inside. Along with Bev Jo and others, we are creating a Female Identified Butch Dyke group realtime for Butches resisting the pressure to transition, who honor and love their female bodies and other females, and for a place to talk about our issues and how we've basically had our Butch Dyke identity coopted by the trans movement. It is a safe place we hope to create exclusively for bio female Butch Lesbians who are Female identified.

For all the reasons above, there are many Butches fearful of taking on the Feminist word, because it seems not to include us, or demonizes us in a way, like the individual one of you mentioned on the stairway. Her behavior was plain rude. Many other Butches would be more respectful, but Butches alone don't have a corner on rudeness. We don't want to be pushed further into the background either by other radical feminist dykes or by the trans community either which is actively coopting our identity and our young Butch women at an alarming rate. We are a different kind of female, and for me, in many ways I see Butches as Amazons, those who are in touch with their female power and pride and don't kowtow to men, having resisted femininity and feminisation much or all of our lives....

Monday, February 8, 2010

On "Giving Up" Gender: From Dirt's blog on Women's Study Conference

4, 2010 12:57 PM
MasterAmazon said...
This is what women's studies has come to: 'Gender studies', instead of Lesbian groups or the Dyke March, it's for the 'gender fluid'. Gender fluidity and gender arguements are now the norm in the LGBTLMNOPXYZ community. A bunch of fucking claptrap. Where IS our Lesbian only or even WOMEN ONLY space? Where are our women's bookstores, printing presses, women's/lesbian newspapers, mags, hangouts, lesbian centers, lesbian groups ect. ect. ect. lesbian businesses? Gone gone and more gone, cuz of JUST THIS CLAPTRAP. Does that mean that women are no longer the spoils of war, that women rape men as much as men rape women? that women batter and fuck and hold men down and don't let them advance in their careers or even allow them to get a nontraditional career, the way that men do to women? What about the genitally mutilated 80 million women across the world that are almost nothing more than cows for men, with very few rights and veils covering their faces, threatened with horrible threats should they step out of their role or assert independence, much less become Lesbian and walk away from men, men's religions, men's political systems, men's social systems, men's medical systems, and on and on and on. Do women have 100% of the rights that men do that we can 'overcome gender'? This is one of those grandiose tasks that is so unattainable as to be virtually meaningless. I guess with Thomas Beattie we now have 'pregnant men'! So do men get a womb implanted in them too so they can take part in reproduction or have to worry every time they have heterosex they'll get pregnant too? Do they have to worry about a single man/woman or a group of women standing on a street corner chasing them down and raping them if they're dressed too scantily? How much do they have to worry about sexual harassment or jobs that don't pay much compared to women?

What a bunch of crap! Like Nat said! Just like so many of the queer conferences where you won't see hardly ONE workshop exclusively for Dykes! So man and trans heavy these days!

I'm a DYKE dammit...I'm ALL WOMON...and I ONLY DATE/have sexual relationships with BIO FEMALE WOMEN/DYKES!

If gender is eliminated, then my sexual orientation is eliminated, but honey, whatever you call it, I don't want any penis between us friends! No flat chests and no penises, only bio female yonis, and breasts...that are naturally grown. Thank you very much. I'm not pansexual, nor do I want to be...sex DOES matter to me. The term gender these days is meaningless to me....Proud to be Butch but All Dyke, and ALL Female and that's all I want...is another who is the same, whether Butch or Femme, but all bio-Female and Dyke all the same........

February 8, 2010 2:52 AM
MasterAmazon said...
Once we win the war against sexism, that is the diminishment of ALL women by men's institutions which I listed in my last post, and ALL women are free from violence, rape, discrimination, lesser pay for work, deprivation of food so the male human lion can be fed first, control by male centered religions and dieties, THEN maybe we can talk about'dismantling gender'.

Once Lesbophobia is overcome, that Lesbians are treated with equal dignity that straight women and men take for granted, and even gay men with their much greater privilege than dykes because they're male and have male only networks, and that trans and bis aren't crashing our spaces but actively creating their own AND RESPECTING OURS, and that ANY WOMAN who desires across the world can become a Lesbian, and center her most intimate energies, love and passion towards other womyn only without having to fear rape, violence, censure, censorship, shame or even the death penalty in some countries or discrimination on the job and out in the world...then MAYBE we can discuss 'getting rid of gender/sexual orientation' But better to get rid of sex/gender/sexual orientation discrimination. And allow us Lesbians to have our unique womon and Dyke centered and womon loving ways about us, and our love for women, cuz THAT's the sex we crave. NOT the other, nor do we want to mix and match!

For Butches, if you get rid of violence against us as Butch Lesbians, Butch Women who are actively being invisibilized by the trans movement, or so much pressure is being put upon us to give up our Lesbian spaces/herstory/identity to take on the MALE identity, whether genderqueer/FTM ect. destroying our Female bodies in the process, as well as our unique Female Minds and Spirits, that transition or identifying as male is the process to our liberation rather than knocking down the doors of sexism, lesbophobia and Butchphobia(like Dirt mentions, attitudes towards her in the bathroom, but not just there, out in the world and on the job and with family as well), then MAYBE we can talk about overcoming 'gender'. But really,
we ARE gendered sex BEINGS. Women have a lovely luscious Yoni/Cunt/Labia/Gateway to the Goddess, and I love my hand inside one, and a woman's hand/fingers inside mine. It is a multiorgasmic ecstasy that cannot be denied. Can the other sex do that? No, they can only orgasm once.....Lesbian sex is unique, as Lesbians are unique, and I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP MY UNIQUENESS for some fakely nightmare fiction of a genderless society where we all wear grey suits and everybody looks and acts just like everybody else!

Sorry if you're a penis wearer, were a penis wearer, or want to be a penis wearer, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOU! I want to give up the lockstep of gender roles and boxes that any little girl is forced into, but not the girlhood, womonhood itself...it is the Female I crave, sexually, emotionally, politically, psychologically, psychically and SPIRITUALLY. It is absolutely revolutionary. 'Getting rid' of gender is NOT. It's total bullshit.

The Super Bowl was today. How many MTF's and FTMS and women were on the Super Bowl Football teams? NONE. My point exactly. Which sex keeps war going to feel alive? The MALE one. Who benefits from the spoils of war and who are the victims, the males are the benefitters who rape and plunder, the women and children are the victims.....end of story. work towards getting rid of sexism, lesbophobia, Butchphobia and WAR. And women and Dykes will then be so completely liberated the energy released on this planet will be unimaginable...and positive.

The Trans Movement is a Cult

I have come to the conclusion that the trans movement is nothing more than one big cult. There is so much pressure for young 'uns to transition, there is so much money going out to nonprofits from grants for trans spaces, places, healthcare, groups, law centers, ect. It's a movement based on a lie: a lie you can change and lie about your past, change driver's license and birth certificates, and invisibilize one's self to a degree that nobody can 'prove' any longer who or what one truly is. Much like a Lion in sheep's clothing...or a wolf.

In the meantime, Dykes can't have Lesbian only spaces with other bio-female Lesbians to talk about OUR issues like I did today. It was WONDERFUL to be around a group of Lesbians talking about the need for exclusively not just women only space, but LESBIAN ONLY SPACE which is nigh to nonexistent. With all the talk of gender binary, gender fluid, cis this and that, all a smokescreen. I have found most MTF's to be incredibly reactionary and conservative, way more conservative than most culturally attuned Dykes..that is Dykes who are PROUD to be Lesbian, to be Female, whether Butch or Femme, and craving a strong Lesbian community like we've had in the past, that indeed Lesbianism is revolutionary, because we can give our most intimate sexual, mental and emotional energies to women only or lesbians only if we choose to, and set boundaries and limits with men and other nonlesbians if we choose to.

We support all that is Female, rights for women, for Dykes, for Butches, for nontraditional jobs for us, for our full and total physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and spiritual empowerment. The trans movement does NONE Of this, and in fact tries to erase our efforts by crashing our spaces, and by making their needs and desires, our needs....and to ignore our needs to band together as bio-female Dykes....throwing out labels like bi and transphobic, when really we NEED our own space and our own identities, our OWN places to thrive without talk of men, hormones, surgeries to change sex, wanting to identify as male, or coopting our female heritage, bonding, oppression and spirits and sexualizing us as bio-males do(MTF's).

We NEED our own space. And we NEED to keep moving forward as Dykes and as women.....we need to look through the smokescreen and mirrors of the trans movement, the lies, and to follow the money: the gynecologists(even lesbian ones), the psychiatrists and psychologists, the surgeons getting rich off all this including the pharmaceuticals who know they can prescribe a lifetime of hormones and drugs if they can convince young effeminate men or butchy/masculine/tomboy girls and women that they REALLY ARE the opposite sex, and the further agenda: eliminating homosexuality altogether, as Iran would do: forcing such effeminate men or butchy women into transitioning so they will now have a heterosexual relationship. If not: the death penalty. The trans movement is essentially male identified at it's core, and benefits a conservative male system and medical system. IT DOES NOT BENEFIT LESBIANS, WOMEN OR BUTCHES, IT DIVERTS FROM OUR ISSUES AND OUR ABILITY TO ORGANIZE FOR OUR OWN: THE COMPLETE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN ACROSS THE WORLD, AND LESBIANS, SPIRITUALLY, RELIGIOUSLY, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, SEXUALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND ECONOMICALLY. Indeed, it wants to erase us altogether! So indeed, in my eyes, and in discussion with my partner who was originally from a conservative religious background, It IS A CULT! And it recruits the young who diverge in any bit from the so-called 'gender binary'.

If you're 'gender fluid' THEN BE truly gender fluid. Then there's no need for surgeries, hormones or identity changing documents or the rest. Break all the boxes of society, and BE YOURSELF EXACTLY AS YOU ARE, without classes to be coached on how the 'opposite sex' behaves or walks or talks so you can 'pass'. Accept pan/mixed sex spaces then, don't crash our Dyke spaces or coopt them. Don't hide your past or falsify it..be true to yourself, and be truthful and rigourously honest to us. We've been lied to enough by men in and with power, and sold a bill of goods. Don't perpetuate that oppression! Stop the smoke screen and mirrors....and get real!