I grew up with all that pressure: forced to wear dresses to family dinners, and there always were crying and shouting matches when I refused to do so, and threats I couldn’t come along if I didn’t comply. Holidays and birthdays were a strain too, because I rejected dolls at age 7(dresses at age 10, and marriage to a man at age 12). How I knew all this stuff, well, I grew up in NYC during the budding of the Feminist movement in the late ’60′s/early ’70′s, and was a tough tomboy on the streets who wouldn’t take second class status merely cuz I was a girl. I too wanted to be ‘one of the boys’, all the things this individual mentions. I HATED being a girl, not because I wanted a dick, but because I didn’t want to dress in humilating feminine clothing, be made to play with dolls or femmey girls, or do housework, I wanted to do all the fun boy things like my younger brother was able to do, and play with the more interesting toys, sports, adventure and exploration, and most of all, DID NOT wanted to be treated second class and left out! I was also very protective of my younger brother and fought his fights for him.
This individual is far more Femme than I EVER was…I rejected feminininity, makeup, dresses or any of that BEFORE I came out as much as I could get away with, and even more so AFTER I came out, and thank Goddess I came into a strong Lesbian/Feminist movement where there were very visible Butch Dykes I could emulate, and questioning of every female role and assertion and we were carving out OUR OWN culture and way of being, not that dicktated to us by the heterosexual culture…but ACTIVELY RESISTING IT. And as a martial artist teaching self defense to women, I took up my space in a way many women do not…martial arts helped me inhabit my body and my movements and where I would go and what I would do, in many ways women as a whole are fearful to do because of feminine training and threats of violence, and threats of being ‘unfeminine’. Well, I was NEVER feminine in the first place, and so MANY of these trans’men’ had active feminine experiences where at some point they embraced femininity as this FTM did.
Even looking at this individual, I see the woman inside her. Shave off the beard and you have a young Butch.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH JUST BEING BUTCH/AMAZON????????????? And questioning all these imposed upon female roles. When I see pictures of her as a girl, I just get very sad and mourn, cuz she looked like a cute tomboy girl, attempting to resist femininity, but still all girl, that is, all FEMALE, nothing wrong with her at all, except the shame the family instills in her for NOT CONFORMING.
I am convinced now, with watching yet ANOTHER FTM confession(youtube is loaded with them overwhelmingly, and Chaz’s documentary is no different in tone than any of the other FTM confession) that it’s all about being shamed for not being feminine, and not ‘fitting into’ feminininity and ‘proper’ female roles..so it’s all about roles, and NOTHING TO DO with the sex she is born into…that is…if INSTEAD she came out into a community where her kind of Female was honored, like I was as a hardcore Tomboy who finally had a place as a Butch, seeing other Butches FIERCELY PROUD OF THEIR FEMALENESS AND AMAZON STRENGTH, HERSTORY AND POWER, and their capableness, then perhaps she would not have decided to take those horrible male hormones and to transition.
Over and over it comes down to SOCIAL CONDITIONING and rejecting feminine roles..and seeing the only opportunity is to become a ‘dude’ to deal with sexism, instead of a place where one can just be a powerful Female EXACTLY as you are without being forced into pink, stereotypical female(or for that matter male) behaviors, dresses or expectations.
Because she admits that once she’s percieved as a ‘dude’ she can’t even shake hands the same way, and is looked at completely differently, something she didn’t expect. Men are always testing other men to see their weaknesses, always testing for weakness….always going on about dick size or equivalents thereof, oneupmanship, ect. and now she won’t be able to show vulnerabilities, softness or emotions freely, because then she’ll be suspect she’s ‘not really a man’, instead of a greater human being, just BEING. So transition is NOT an answer to ANYONE’S problems…it does NOT stop the social inequities, it’s just another way to conform……