March 28, 2011 2:43 PM
"I have a very feminine face that could be considered 'beautiful'. This means I'm unable to 'pass' most of the time, also that some men actually find me attractive despite the fact I have a shaved head and wear men's clothes. I also have gay men trying to hit on me because of my feminine face etc which must make them think I am a young boy etc.
I know Dirt thinks passing isn't a good thing, but frankly, why would I want to live a life of hassle and homophobia by being openly masculine and female. What kind of a life is that eh?"
Well, some gay men's pedophilia really does get to me.... or their worship of very young men....and they DO hit up on Butch Dykes too, including when I was younger and thinner, and almost always on my first partner in SF, who was petite and Butch thinking she was just out of boyhood...which disgusted both of us....that IS a real phenomena, and BEING MEN, they don't have sexual boundaries oftentimes, or respect. One drag queen at the last gay event I went to felt up my Butch partner's nipples as they passed by and I was out of the room. My partner was very upset about it..it was very clear she was a BUTCH DYKE, NOT a dude! And yet, this drag queen felt they had the right and privilege to hit on her....
At the end of the night the drag queen touched my arm, and I said "Don't EVER touch my partner again!". Which makes me NOT want to be in mixed situations with gay men...
But what kind of life can you live as a Butch Female, indeed if that is what you are, which just by what you say you may not be, is living a life of integrity. I was NEVER feminine, maybe at a very young age I didn't object to wearing dresses, because I didn't know about the differences between boys and girls and I hadn't yet felt the deep sting of being treated differently than my brother. I was the older sibling, and I went to an all girls school where we were all equals....it wasn't till I began to realize around age 7 that I was treated differently and forced to play with dolls and do domestic things like cook and clean while my brother didn't have to do either, that I objected...and began to adopt more tomboy ways...I've been a tomboy all my life since then..it's not something 'I decided' to be, like one day you're Butch, the next day Femme or feminine...so what are you saying? That you'd rather stay feminine so the gay boys leave you alone, or you'd rather transition to male, where THEY'D STILL HIT ON YOU, NOW THAT YOU'RE FULLY MALE APPEARING?
Being and staying a Butch Dyke is LIVING a life of integrity, not having to 'pass' either as feminine to survive, like many Butches had to do in the past, especially in regards to work, and could only 'butch it up' in the dyke bar scene, or to submerge my Butch Femaleness by adopting even more male attitudes, hardening myself, or transitioning to male.
So yes, you'd deal with homophobia and hassle being an open Butch FEMALE, rather than passing as either feminine, or transitioning to FTM, but you'd also be living a LIFE OF INTEGRITY, where you did not have to hide who you truly are.
That is why I see most Butch Females as true Amazons, because we are strong, powerful womyn, part of a Sacred Sisterhood of women loving women, throughout time....and that WE ARE NOT ALONE, even if sometimes it feels that way!