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Big Dyke from SF Dyke March

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Sunday, May 2, 2010

Pressures/Expectations as a Butch Dyke

This is from my answer to the above question on The Butch Project, what Pressures/Expectations do we experience as Butches in our lives?

M.A.'s answer: There's always the pressures to 'femme up' or otherwise conform, or not be TOO obviously Butch and proud, even amongst Lesbians sometimes, and then the subtle Butch and Lesbian baiting in the outside world. The worst is in the world of work, which is why I chose a profession where I can naturally wear Butch clothing. It doesn't really match my temperament inside, but I wanted a profession where I could dress and be Butch without having to 'femme up' in any way, and still get paid well while working. I didn't count on having to work mostly with just men, and rarely women, and all the sexism, homophobia, and racism that goes with my trade or being in the trades. And that being a woman, and on top of that a big, bad, out and obvious Butch Dyke female of size like myself would end up discriminated against in trying to get on a job, or stay on a job for any length of time because of size, sex, sexual orientation discrimination both obvious and subtle with the hetero white men who rule the trade and the hiring.

Still, this is who I am, who I've been for 30 years, and beyond..and I wouldn't be any other way than in being a proud Butch DykeAmazon!

As far as within the community, there's alot of pressure to date mostly or exclusively Femmes, and frankly I prefer to partner with other Butches and have married my Butch partner. I'm turned onto another Butch who has the similar qualities in herself and completely understands intimately the struggle that I have....Butch on Butch has always been my native sexuality, with a few Femme exceptions...and what I hate the most is other Butches treating those of us who are Butch on Butch like we're 'less than' or not REAL Butches because we prefer other Butches primarily.

2 comments:

  1. I've never felt pressured to "femme it up".

    I've found as a Butch just the opposite, that anyone close to me has said there was never anyway I could have "femmed" it up without looking like the worst possible drag queen alive.

    The naturalness of Butch has never boded well with "feminine" clothing, it makes us appear unnatural.

    dirt

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