How Heavy is My Heart? Guest Post by Sharon Stonekey

In response to Dyke wanting advice how to talk to a Lesbian friend who just announced she wanted to transition.

"Oh how heavy is my heart at stories like these?  At the risk of being accused of all kinds of things I offer the following:  Children use gender in very creative ways.  Children actually don't get that gender means biology until around age 6 which is very late.  I myself very young . . . like so many . . . noticed that boys were less vulnerable than girls.  Since I was living in a dangerous environment, I developed the persona of a boy.  I had a boy's name, wanted a boy's haircut, spit like a boy, rode my bike like a boy.  Sure I knew I was a girl and wore the mandatory dresses to school, but there was definitely two strands going on.  I DONT BELIEVE FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I WAS A BOY IN A GIRL'S BODY.  When I came out as a lesbian, for the first time in all our lesbian freedom, I felt marvelously happy claiming myself as a woman.  I studied dance because I wanted the option . . . just the option . . . of being graceful if I felt like it.  I never looked back at my boy strand or on heterosexuality.  I'm so thoroughly delighted to have the entire continuum to travel on where ever I want at any moment and so marvelously happy to be a woman.  Gender roles are such a trap.  I'm so sorry for this crippling turn. I'm so sorry some of our XX allies think they have to fit into some category.  Down with categories  Blessings on our beautiful lives.  I'll never accept that being a woman is a subjective feeling with any fixed permanence.  I shudder when I hear of some of our younger sisters changing names, taking hormones, amputating woman parts. I'm off now to paint a butterfly or chain saw some wood whichever I feel like.  LOVE to all.  Best to your friend."                 - Sharon Stonekey