Drumming Amazon

Drumming Amazon
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Big Dyke from SF Dyke March

Big Dyke from SF Dyke March

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

"Females First" and for me "Butch Dykes First' which is the truth!

In response to bugbrennan's blog on:

This is about identifying as Females First, the usual Female issues are trotted out: abortions, pregnancy and access to birth control, while the latter issues that correlate to Butch Dykes are considered an 'identity group' and yet those issues could apply to all Females and especially those who don't conform to heterosexist female roles, I argue that it is as important to me to see MY issues represented as much as the issues that don't affect me personally first and foremost. I have no intention to get pregnant, practice birth control or have an abortion, while these ARE important issues to all who retain a working fertile female body, my sexuality is 100% Lesbian, and my first concern sexually for myself would be safe sex with anyone beyond my primary partner, and my ability to be treated equally in a world that completely invisibilizes my needs as a Butch Dyke Female, mostly, the ability to work, get and keep a steady job and make a living, be treated equally and fairly on that job, to move through the world without harassment, violence or threats or being made fun of by either men or hetero women for not conforming to their idea of patriarchal womonhood, ect. This does not just apply to a Sister Dyke like BugBrennan who I do greatly respect, but to how heterosexual women treat Butch Dykes, and constantly dismiss our issues, much less Lesbians who also dismiss some of our issues who can pass for straight. I just experienced all this at a yearly women's conference I attended this past weekend which I may go into further later on.

So here's my response to her blog:
"Wow, great post. But nonetheless as a Butch Dyke Female, it IS important I have a group representing who I am as a Butch Dyke FEMALE. And to have solidarity with other Butches who throw their lot in with all of womonkind, instead of escaping it as so many are pushing away the Female/woman label. Because when people talk of feminism and women’s rights, it always seems to be HETEROSEXUAL womens’ rights, abortion/prochoice, childraising, relationships to M E N, even though others may think they’re ‘Lesbians’ if they aren’t in their straitjacketed feminine roles and are advocating for other Females first and foremost. For us, as Lesbians it is necessary to do so for our survival. For us as Butch FEMALES it is even more necessary when literally Butches are being pushed out of the Female realm and identifying as male/genderqueer/ftm/trans but NOT as a woman, and where the word ‘woman’ in the queer community is seen as a dirtier and dirtier word, even though they are coming together in basically bio female to female sexual relationships. As Butches we are so often told by the straight world “you just want to be a man”, and now we are being told the same by the queer world: “you must be a man.”

I could say, ‘abortion is not really MY issue, it certainly isn’t my primary issue” and that is totally true. Access to equal pay for equal work, equal opportunity, freedom from male violence and harassment and discrimination, as a Butch, as a woman and as a large woman are the biggest levels of discrimination I find in the outside world….first as a woman, but in that, other women are hired, and then I’m percieved as a large Butch woman….and they make an issue of my size, whereas with a guy they wouldn’t, and NEVER would they say because I’m a Butch Dyke, so which is it????It’s all three……sex, size, and sexual orientation/nonfeminine presentation…..the interplay of the three. Also I want the right to stay married to my Butch Dyke partner, and she works in an all female field and is hugely oppressed in opportunities, raises and advancement BECAUSE she is a Butch Dyke, BY OTHER HETEROSEXUAL FEMININE WOMEN!! We BOTH
suffer in the workplace, access to work in the first place(getting hired, me), her in advancement, raises, being treated fairly and opportunities BECAUSE OF BEING BUTCH LESBIANS….

So, for a feminism that works for me, I don’t want to be lumped in with straight women issues, except as pertains to ALL women/females moving ahead. I WANT MY issues taken as seriously as straight women have their issues taken. And it is one reason that Black Feminists and Black Lesbians started their own womanist movement to have their particular issues addressed as well. So if the personal is political and the political is personal, there has to be a two way flow with our commonalities AND our differences acknowledged and VALUED, because there are some of us as one kind or another as further minorities of womonhood that have the boot even harder on our necks, while other women who are more conventional and have more privilege do get the opportunities over us and get to move ahead, sometimes on our backs!"
-In Sisterhood,

1 comment:

  1. Feminine straight women have a lot to answer for. But im not the good soul you are, and thats a shame for straight feminine women as i will recognise my own power and do recognise my own power. Im not sure who came up with the idea of femininity, these days i buy into the whole idea that its imposed on straight women by men a lot less an im leaning towards a new view of things that says women are also responsible for female oppression. Men do benefit from equality as they get more sex, think about it men these days have less responsibility towards women.

    I remember a time in the 90's where women wore less make up and dresses. Then we had this thing called third wave feminism, were it became about dressing feminine as it was something empowering. Then straight women started competing with each other over all this, and now even lesbians are more feminine.

    Yesterdays femininity was all about the female role, todays femininity is about power and putting other women down. Even straight men are becoming more feminine, many straight women gave up on feminism because they wanted to be able the have a man keep them again.

    They were not gonna be feminist and watch youinger women make off with the man they wanted.

    But a side effect is that many straight women have gone so far with the feminine to get one up on other women, so far that they now have no power and confidance in there self without make up or sexulised clothing.

    I know that as a oman who rejects femininity, i have more confidance in my self then the average straight woman, my mind is not cluttered with thoughts of hair and make up etc. And im free from other womens envy. There is power in being who i am, and im not unwilling to turn around and insult any feminine straight woman who ever gives me the slightest putdown for being who i am. I suffered many years with the feeling of rejection from other women. So much so i wondered weather i would be better off as a man! I could have walked the transgender path, but i didnt as i am not trans.

    Most straight women hate there own self in there natural state, so will view other women who do not do the femminine drag as ugly etc. I these days just see this as the absence of there ability to see other women the way i can, there hetrosexuality blinkers there view of themself and convinces them that make up covered, titless fashion models in frilly dresses are hot.