I rejected dolls at age 7, dresses by age 10, never wanted to marry a man or have children and knew this by age 12, and always fought with my parents that I wasn't a 'girl', meaning feminine,frilly, ect. but knew I wasn't a boy either when they'd say that, so I'd say I was 'an alien from outer space' when they asked what I was...(being the Trekker(Star Trek fanatic) that I am).
I did play with the boys cuz the girls games were stupid, boring and housewifey....but I DID connect with particular Greek Goddesses who left the men's world to live in the woods, amongst only other women in independence and freedom...
And yes, I did always imagine myself in the men's/boys roles cuz the girls roles were helpless nitwits who couldn't defend or take care of themselves without some man's/boy's help.
I never had a big deal about the bathroom thing, cuz I didn't want to share that with boys, they were the enemy and mean to me cuz I didn't 'fit in'. Always preferred pants and androgynous clothes to anything 'girly'. Yes, I didn't like developing breasts, refused for several years to wear bras(and mostly don't anymore anyway), but was teased mercilessly by feminine girls in P.E. for not wearing them, till finally I succumbed so I could be left alone, and also pressure from my mother and grandmother to wear them.
Fortunately, in puberty, I got into martial arts at age 14, which became my lifelong niche as a young Amazon, and I could 'kick ass', and no longer got picked on once I acquired some skills and much greater athletic ability as a result. The martial arts gave me a power, strength and self-confidence that many other teenagers, girls and women lacked. It gave me purpose and pride in my body and it's growing strength. This was at a time not many women were doing martial arts..some, but not many.
I LOVED that men had one weakness, despite their superior strength, which of course I envied...that one kick to their nuts could put them on their knees!
-MasterAmazon
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Listen I used to be lesbian and to date butch women and one day, I met a pre-op pre T FTM who abused me and now I am lost.
ReplyDeleteI have shared my painful testimonial here: http://mikeraudaskoski.blogspot.com/