Supportive of WBW Space from a Different Perspective Guest Post: JD Bowen

I found support in a Lesbian group where many do not see the value of WBW space, whether J D  Bowen partakes or not, JD is supportive of us Dykes who NEED IT.  JD covers many topics in a logical and clear minded fashion. A valuable truthsaying perspective.   -M.A.

"I am a butch dyke who is also gender queer. I'm not a man and have no plan to transition - I find it distressing that so many butches feel pressure to transition and many are unhappy - some unhappy enough to transition back. I am female born and have been out in the LGBT community for over 30 years. I never really embraced the label lesbian and felt much more comfortable with dyke or queer or gay. Even before I finally sucked up the courage and faced the gender question about 15 years ago. I live in the middle but am female born and female bodied. I share this to give context as I now sometimes feel like an intruder in WBW spaces. As someone who identifies as trans or gender bent or gender queer, I have much more in common with WBW lesbians than those who have or are transitioning. Of all the transwomen I've met, most still have assumed privilege that they are blind to, assumed entitlement that they are blind to, and more male conditioned ways of communicating. It is different talking to a transwoman than a born female woman. The reality is they have been raised as boys even though they rejected it and have been  granted the freedoms and expectations of boys when they were in their first few years of life. Social conditioning plays a huge role in how we communicate and impacts the lens through which we see the world. Of course there are always exceptions to every generalization. But they are the exceptions, not the norm. Woman don't have the space to be themselves. To come down from being on guard. To relax and let the unconscious protections go. And when transwomen enter a women's only space with their male-based entitlement and communication styles, the space immediately stops being the safe haven for WBW. This is just my observations based on my personal experience. It isn't likely true for every situation out there - it has been true in my personal experiences. WBW spaces need to be guarded religiously and held sacred. I remember well the days when lesbian bars would get popular and gay men would start to hang out and eventually the lesbian bar became a gay bar and in time the lesbians stopped going because the energy and the safety factor had changed. The only time I was ever sexually assaulted in a bar was in a gay men's bar. Safe women's spaces disappear far too quickly. I don't have an opinion on whether this fb group is or needs to be a WBW space - only the group owner and moderators can make that decision. But I do fully support those who are saying they need WBW only spaces."  -JD Bowen